John Mulaney says Michael Jackson wasn’t the only person who grew up without a childhood, because nobody born before 1910 had one perhaps not unique John: “People always go, ‘Oh, poor Michael Jackson, he had no childhood.’ But you know who else didn’t? Anyone born before 1910.” “And they didn’t marry children with a giraffe as a witness.” Conan: “We now know why John was not asked to give the eulogy at Michael Jackson’s funeral.” John: “I had a nice version. I was perfectly willing to call an audible and switch it on the fly.”

Matthew McConaughey Explains Why Texas Is About Independence, Exploration, and Individual Freedom Not Just Politics When asked what it means to be a Texan, McConaughey had an answer that went beyond the usual stereotypes. “Texas is not about Republican or Democrat, it’s about independence, independence of spirit, sovereignty.” He explained that Texas has a culture of encouraging people to understand where they come from before going out into the world to explore, take risks, and discover new things. “Then go. Go, explore, pioneer, journey. And hopefully you come on back with some goods and some stories.” But his description of Texas came with an interesting distinction. According to McConaughey, the state is welcoming when people arrive, with a spirit of less regulation and more trust. “Texas is liberal on your entrance.” But when it comes to breaking the rules, he says the attitude changes: “If you lie, cheat, steal, we’re conservative on our consequences.” In other words, McConaughey describes Texas as a place that values personal freedom while expecting people to take responsibility for their actions. Do you think a place can offer people more freedom while still holding them strictly accountable for what they do?

Matthew McConaughey Says Losing 47 Pounds for Dallas Buyers Club Was the Easy Part. What He Found in Ron Woodroof’s Diary Changed Everything When Matthew McConaughey prepared to play Ron Woodroof in Dallas Buyers Club, everyone wanted to know the same thing: How did he lose so much weight? But McConaughey said that was actually the easy part. He explained that he followed a strict eating plan, calculated how much weight he needed to lose each week, and stuck to it. No tempting himself with a Pizza Hut buffet. Just discipline and consistency. The real challenge was figuring out who Ron Woodroof was beyond what audiences would see in the film. Then Ron’s family gave McConaughey something unexpected: his personal diary. At first, McConaughey hesitated because reading it felt almost too intimate. But once he opened it, he discovered something that helped him understand the man behind the character. Before Ron became known for his battle with AIDS and his fight to access alternative treatments, he was an ordinary man with dreams, plans, and everyday responsibilities. He wrote about ironing his shirt on Sunday night, checking the batteries in his pager, preparing for a job the next morning, what kind of coffee he drank, and how much gas he would need to drive across town. Those tiny details helped McConaughey see Ron as a real person not just the character whose life would be portrayed on screen. Sometimes, understanding a person’s life means looking beyond their biggest struggles and discovering who they were before everything changed.

Ben Affleck says his 17 year-old roasted him for trying to give relationship advice “My kids are talking at dinner and they'll talk about their friends and the drama and the relationships, and I have some lived experience. I think that's worth sharing, some lessons...” “I was saying, you know, well, the thing about that relationship there with that person and the 17 year-old just turns to me and goes, ‘Oh, like you're the expert on relationships’” “I went to a bookstore with them... and there's some book by a French guy and it's called I'm Sorry for Everything, and my kid immediately just turns to me deadpan and goes, ‘Oh, look, Dad, it's your autobiography’”

Anthony Jeselnik Got Drunk With Queens of the Stone Age, Accidentally Agreed to Perform at San Quentin Prison, and Then Discovered Almost His Entire Act Was Banned The comedian explained that he was drinking with the band after a show when they mentioned they were finishing their tour with a performance at San Quentin State Prison. The band wanted to record a live album in the style of Johnny Cash, and Jeselnik, drunk enough to make questionable career decisions, asked: “Do you need an opener?” They said yes. He forgot about the conversation until the prison sent him a list of rules explaining what he couldn’t say onstage. No swearing. No religion. No sex. No drugs. No violence. His reaction? “Basically, it’s my set list with the word ‘no’ in front of everything.” Imagine being Anthony Jeselnik, whose comedy is known for pushing boundaries, and discovering that almost everything you do onstage is forbidden at your next gig. Would you still take the gig, or would you suddenly remember you had somewhere else to be?

Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Trump’s Reaction to Nicki Minaj’s ass, Comparing Him to a Man Staring at an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Jimmy Kimmel had a field day reacting to Donald Trump and Nicki Minaj, joking that Trump seemed particularly taken with the rapper. After mentioning that Trump had recently been joined by Mike Tyson, Jake Paul, and Kid Rock, Jimmy suggested Nicki might have been his favorite. Then he showed the audience Trump’s reaction and delivered the punchline: Jimmy Kimmel: “He’s looking at her like he’s looking at the all-you-can-eat meat plate at Fogo de Chão.” Jimmy also mocked speculation that Nicki could become White House press secretary, saying Trump always finds a way to make things “weirder and worse.” The internet can debate the politics, but Jimmy’s description of that reaction was absolutely ruthless.

Livvy Dunne Says Her Oura Ring Makes Her Look Like She’s About to Die Every Time She Watches Paul Skenes Pitch Jimmy Fallon asked Livvy Dunne if she gets nervous watching her boyfriend, MLB star Paul Skenes, play baseball. Livvy Dunne: “I usually wear an Oura ring, and it tells me I’m going to, like, explode and die every single time I watch him.” But her anxiety doesn’t stop there. Livvy revealed she’s so superstitious that she has to scream “LET’S GO, PAUL!” before every single pitch. And when Paul throws 100 pitches, she screams 100 times. Livvy Dunne: “If you go to a game, you don’t want to sit in front of me.” Jimmy Fallon: “Unless you want to cheer with me.” Livvy Dunne: “Yeah, we definitely will cheer with you!” Imagine being one of the best pitchers in baseball and having your girlfriend’s smartwatch fighting for its life in the stands every time you throw.

Matthew McConaughey Plays a Weed Kingpin Worth Hundreds of Millions in The Gentlemen Who Just Wants to Retire But His Business Partners Have Other Plans Matthew McConaughey plays Mickey Pearson, an American living in London who has built a hugely profitable marijuana empire and wants to sell it off for a fair price and retire peacefully. There’s just one problem: the people he’s doing business with aren’t willing to pay what his empire is worth. Matthew McConaughey: “Instead of eloquently retiring as I want to, he has to get up and get very violent again and try to eliminate the bad guys.” Bro wanted a peaceful retirement but ended up having to remind everyone why they were afraid of him in the first place.

Hugh Grant Went Door-to-Door to Stop Boris Johnson From Becoming Prime Minister, and Every Single Candidate He Supported Lost Jimmy Fallon: “Is it true you went door-to-door telling people not to vote for Boris Johnson?” Hugh Grant: “I did.” Grant revealed he campaigned for eight different candidates, but voters who promised to support them never followed through. Hugh Grant: “Every single one of my candidates lost. 100% record of failure.” But the funniest part? Some children didn’t even recognize him from Love Actually. They burst into tears because they thought he was the villain from Paddington 2. Imagine Hugh Grant knocking on your door to change your vote, only for his entire political team to lose.

LeBron James reveals that his NBA championships represent much more than trophies they remind him of the hardest moments he had to overcome. 🏆👑 He described winning his first championship with Miami in 2012 as especially meaningful after facing intense criticism for his decision to join the Heat. After falling short in his first season, coming back to win required resilience, mental strength, and a clear purpose. Then came the 2020 Lakers championship, won inside the NBA Bubble during the COVID-19 pandemic. LeBron said bringing a championship to Los Angeles during such a difficult time meant something special because basketball gave people at home a reason to smile when the world was struggling. For LeBron, the real value of a championship isn’t just winning it’s what you overcome and what you give people along the way. 🏆❤️