abruza

So stressed at work that I'm eating m&ms like it's my job. Beach body who?

"I still want those red velvet Oreos," I say as I eat my asparagus. #nothingtastesasgood #asskinnyfeels

It's snow storming outside and I'm at work. UGH. But, like, money.

I haven't had chipotle in months. MONTHS.

"I hate and I love. Perhaps you ask why I do this. I do not know, but I feel it happen and I am torn apart."

Ross and Rachel just broke up and now I just don't know what to do. #theywereonabreak #friends

When I get sad, I just think about Idina Menzel's new year's performance and I realize my life could be much worse.

Guys, remember Dane Cook?

I just realized ftw means "for the win." And yes, I have been living under a rock for years.

If you bring smelly food on a flight, don't. If you didn't put on deodorant before your flight, do. #ihatesmellypeople

If you're a grown ass woman and you call yourself a princess please GTFO.

Ending up in Chinatown when I meant to go to Brooklyn was just a prelude to how the rest of the night would go. #oops

Shoutout to my future husband: make sure my nails look fresh before you decide to propose to me. #uglyengagementnails

Is adulthood watching Love Actually and eating chips and queso by yourself? Cause if so, I've made it.

It's settled...I'm getting pizza tonight.

A miracle happened today: the eyeliner on my right eye matches the eyeliner on my left eye.#makeupproblems

I just opened my mangorita. I'm about to brush my teeth, and then go back to drinking it. Excuse me, when did I become ke$ha?

To the ass who was on his phone walking down the subway stairs, causing me to miss the train: fuck you. I hope you step on dog shit.

23 days until I'm home!! 🗽🚆🎭 (the masks are Mardi Gras masks cause I can't find another emoji for New Orleans).