people keep saying to me she’s still with me, she’s at home, her love is with me always. & I feel like there’s something wrong me because I can’t feel her. i just feel a terrible absence. maybe because of the circumstances & waiting for the review but I don’t know. I’m just empty
the memory of her brings me no comfort, I just feel sad and angry and confused and shocked. i gave her the best last day I could and took photos of her and us together and videos of her enjoying ice cream and I can’t even look at them without feeling sick
mind u, this was my girl cat approximately 4 hours after she arrived as an abandoned and frightened senior foster
she still has to take the steroids bc they need any inflammation to go down, and they went down deep into her ear today to get some bloody gunk out to check if it’s infected. but yeah she’s likely going to be referred to a specialist hosp for scoping
thank you everyone for your comments. my stepdad has actually offered to pay for me to have some grief counselling, around 6/7 sessions to help me accept not only Winnie’s loss but how and why I had to let her go. it’s really hard to process and move out of the bargaining/what—
if stage when it’s rooted in reality and the truth is that if she’d been given a chance much earlier as there were countless opportunities to do, she’d likely still be here. i definitely need help to do that but i think it will take a lot of time. i didn’t just lose my best—
i think I could do with some grief counselling maybe to help me with this because I’m not coping at all, i feel extremely suicidal (pls don’t worry or report my account, I won’t harm myself, I love my other cats too much), but I’m so broke and I can’t afford it 💔
can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t muster the energy to try and get out (cancelled my walk today) or do any of the things I used to enjoy, nothing distracts me, I just cry all day and think 24/7 about my best friend, the sweetest thing I’ve ever known, being gone