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"THIS MAN HAS ABANDONED CORPORATE LIFE FOR THE SMOKE."
For fifty eight years, my boss in Tokyo believed that beef should be sliced as thin as paper.
In Japan, we cook thin meat for four seconds in boiling broth. That is our way.
Then last month, the YouTube algorithm showed Director Sato a video of a man in Texas smoking a brisket.
It changed his life.
On Monday morning, he called me to his desk. His eyes were bloodshot.
"Have you seen this?" he whispered, turning his monitor toward me. "The American pitmaster does not sleep for sixteen hours. He sits by the fire in the dark. He guards the meat like a castle."
I said, "Sir, it is just a barbecue."
He slammed his hand on the desk.
"This is not cooking," he said. "This is a vigil."
Last Saturday was our annual company picnic by the river in Kanagawa. Normally, we grill thin meat and yakisoba for two hours and go home at 2:00 PM.
I arrived at 9:30 AM to help set up.
Director Sato was already there.
I want to be accurate here: he had been sitting in a folding chair since 10:00 PM on Friday night. He was wearing a towel around his head and staring at a massive black barrel smoker he had imported from Oklahoma.
Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS ABANDONED CORPORATE LIFE FOR THE SMOKE.
When we tried to help him, he held up a pair of metal tongs and clicked them twice.
"Step back," he said calmly. "The stall has begun. Nobody opens the lid."
Twelve Japanese accountants stood in complete silence around a barrel for four more hours. Nobody dared to eat a single noodle until he gave the signal.
At 1:45 PM, he sliced the meat. It fell apart on the cutting board.
My boss looked at the pink smoke ring, nodded once, and wiped a single tear from his cheek.
He has already submitted an official budget request for a trailer smoker for next fiscal year.
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I feel like Jared Kushner being at the center of the plot that ultimately led to an American journalist being dismembered via bone saw while he was still alive should be a much bigger deal than our billionaire owned news media is making of it.
just went to the aquarium and saw an epaulette shark and my mom said “oh my god are those its eyes?!” duped, i fear, by quite literally one of the oldest tricks in the book
Not to alarm anyone but I swear that’s the dino cage from Jurassic Park
⚠️ This 508t vehicle is entering Cheshire after passing through Talke/Newcastle. Police are holding traffic as it approaches Congleton on the A34.
The 5.8m wide load is travelling from Stafford to Ellesmere Port over the weekend. It is being escorted by police and is moving slowly. Expect delays.
The 96m long vehicle has come from GE Vernova's factory in Stafford, transporting a Supergrid Transformer within a girder frame trailer. It has mant axles to evenly distribute the weight.
Today's route (Staffs):
• Ranshaw Dr to Riverway by Hough Retail Park
• A34 via Lichfield Rd & Queensway passed Stafford centre
• A518 via Lammascote Rd, Weston Rd & Beaconside
• A34 north via Stone Rd
• A34 contraflow passed Stone
• Back onto A34 north at Darlaston
• Continues on A34 via Trentham & Hanford
• A527 & A52 contraflow around Newcastle-under-Lyme centre (via 'Fountains Roundabout')
• Back onto A34 via Lower Street & Liverpool Rd
• A34 from Newcastle Rd onto Congleton Rd at Talke (via 'Box Crossroads')
• A34 into Padgbury Ln & Box Ln in Congleton, Cheshire
• It will stop for the night in the A54 area
Will post tomorrow's route later.
The above info is based on previous moves by Collett from Stafford to Ellesmere Port. The order typically covers Saturday, Sunday & Monday.
The gross vehicle weight is 508 tonnes. It is 96 metres long and 5.8 metres wide. Due to these oversized dimensions it must take a complex route that includes occupying the opposite side of the carriageway.
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For those of you like me who miss @ByYourLogic posting on here
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“enjoy your two-parent solution”
Logged back in just to laugh at you @h3h3productions enjoy your two-parent solution nigga














































