Electric Eclectic

Clubs in Berlin are covering the camera lens on phones with a tiny sticker to protect the privacy of partiers. It works because everyone is too high to figure out how to peel it off. #sketchschooljokes

You're welcome. And if you want to learn how to write the jokes that make the world go around, you can always take Conan O'Brien to The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and ask him to teach you everything he knows. He has nothing else to do.

Alaska Airlines got final approval from the Department of Transportation to buy Hawaiian Airlines. It's a win/win. Alaska's customers can now use airmiles to go to Hawaii, and Hawaiians customers can use also use airmiles to go to Hawaii. #sketchschooljokes

Tupperware has filed for bankruptcy. It feels like the end of an era - the era of always asking "have you seen the lid?" #sketchschooljokes

It's Roald Dahl's birthday today. The day when we remind children that his stories live forever, but he is, in fact, dead. #sketchschooljokes

Today is National Hug Your Boss Day. Also known as "National HR Wants To See You" Day #sketchschooljokes

The Sundance Film Festival has narrowed down its search for a new home to 3 cities. People in the know are reassuring attendees that wherever it moves, you can guarantee that it will still be that magical combination of cold, crowded, and remote. #sketchschooljokes

McDonald's $5 value meal is going to stick around until December. The company is trying to lure back once-loyal customers, while customers keep saying, "It's not you. It's just, this isn't working for me anymore." #sketchschooljokes

Mortgage rates have fallen to the lowest level since February 2023. Which sounds great until you realize it was like taking a feather off an elephant and saying "There, you can pick this up now." #sketchschooljokes

A huge deposit of marine fossils were found under San Pedro High School. When asked how they think the fossils got there, a student replied, "Leave me alone!" #sketchschooljokes

BurgerFi, a ShakeShack type burger chain, declared bankruptcy And changed its name to BurgerFinito. #sketchschooljokes

An 80 year old woman's birthday cake went up in flames after family members covered it in "never blow out" candles. Turns out, it was a "cremation reveal" party. #sketchschooljokes

11 hikers have been arrested for attempting to hike the dangerous Haiku Stairs on Oahu after being inspired by social media. Meanwhile, Ku - hashtag the Hawaiian god of Sorcery, has found a new way of getting human sacrifices. #sketchschooljokes

A Young Adult Phantom of the Opera movie is in the works at Disney+. In this version, the Phantom practices asking for consent before stalking Christine. #sketchschooljokes

The Pope repeated remarks that some people prefer pets to children, which was offensive to some of his followers. So the Pope gave up his puppy and immediately fathered a child. #sketchschooljokes

If elected, Donald Trump says he will ask Elon Musk to lead a government efficiency commission. His first job is to eliminate redundancies. His second job, eliminate redundancies. #sketchschooljokes

Las Vegas, the center of garish glamour, aspirational glitz and reasonable facsimiles of real life, is getting a new fine arts museum. And in the spirit of Vegas, instead of displaying Monets and Degas, you get Faux-nets and My-Gods. #sketchschooljokes

Las Vegas, the center of garish glamour, aspirational glitz and reasonable facsimiles of real life, is getting a new fine arts museum. The museum will house the world's largest collection of paint-by-numbers. #sketchschooljokes

7-11 fended off a merger with Circle K. Sparing us all from popping into the 7-K store for a Slurshie. #sketchschooljokes

Colin Jost and Pete Davidson’s albatross, a Staten Island Ferry, will be the venue for Tommy Hilfiger’s Fashion Week runway show. It's the ultimate accessory in Hilfiger's "Dumb Luxury" Spring collection. #sketchschooljokes