artisan002

👉 Important advice I share with people in therapy: being treated badly is not a sign that you need to give more. Yet that is exactly what so many of us do. Have you ever given more and more to someone, hoping they would finally treat you the way you treat them? So many of us believe that if we keep trying, respect will follow. But respect is not something you can earn from someone who is not willing to give it. Let me explain. There is often a good reason this is where we go first. Perhaps giving more and asking for less is what kept the peace growing up. Perhaps it is what we were taught love looks like. Either way, it worked at the time, and we tend to hold on to what once kept us safe. So when someone treats us badly, that old instinct kicks in, and we try harder. But effort is not the problem. In relationships where respect is already there, effort matters a great deal. What it cannot do is create respect where there is none. Protecting your worth does not have to be a fight. Often it starts quietly, with noticing what you have stopped asking for. And the question at the end of this video is one to sit with for a while.