shadow

i already pay a significant amount of money to this website, to have a human arm fucking reach across the screen at 6 am when i am writing my first tweet and beg me for money is fucked @elonmusk

last night i dreamt that i was walk in chicago through a courtyard for the jung institute. through the window of the building i saw a witchy woman pull a tarot card and then cast it into the courtyard where it floated midair and pull it back by an invisible string like she was fishing. i went to her, she told me something prophetic enough that i let her do a reading (i never let strangers do readings on me because of psychic contamination.) she grabbed my hands and pulled them towards her, looked at my palms, looked me in the eyes and i knew she knew. then she laid a large parchment on the table. first i perceived the marks on the parchment as just blobs of brown watery ink, then as letters of an ancient language i didn’t understand, then as women, then in flash i perceived them as countless faces of owls looking at me with a piercing stare. “the owls are not what they seem” i thought to myself with terror. then i was in an art museum with bizarre escheresque architecture. a crowd was gathered and suddenly kanye west gave one of his wild heavily produced concerts. as i wandered through the crowd i saw a woman wearing a shawl. the pattern on the shawl formed an owl at the point where it covered her shoulder. i tried to speak to her to ask about the shawl but she responded in french (a language i do not speak). i tried to speak to her in spanish but then the concert ended and everyone started to leave. through the bizarre corridors and stairways i eventually encountered my father-in-law drinking brandy at one of the small concert bars. when i finally found my way out of the building i realized i didn’t have my cellphone. i woke up in the middle of searching for it in a panic.

what in the actual fuck is this @elonmusk

just used claude remote control to shut off the display on my laptop because i forgot to before i got into bed and the light was bothering me

even a broke clock is right twice a day

grief beyond words so of course i try to write about it

maybe the body and mind are separate but the entire nervous system + the gut are part of the mind not the body

i like to think of myself as a little von neumann probe dispatched by god

are you willing to pay attention and learn what life is all about, on its own terms, even if it’s not how you want it to be? even if it takes you to the depths of despair?

whether it is actually happening or not it is hard for me to understand that there are folks here exposed to much of the same information as me who don’t even have the sense that we are at the start of the singularity. they think over half the town is crying wolf

i have two people that are deeply interested in the same thing and i want to introduce them but i don’t have a good sense of how they’ll get on and if it’s bad i’m scared it will affect how much they trust me. do i:

life is so overwhelmingly wonderful and terrible. what a privilege it is to bear witness to it

black pillers and white pillers both want to rob you of a full spectrum life

i asked god to help me think more positively and he cast a dark cloud over a beloved friend and that fixed me up real quick