Secret Assistant Pro (insert Blue Tick here)

The only other person in living history who was able to move sand more efficiently than @PReedGolf

Shawshank Scheffler has arrived ready for his round!

Tag a mate who will go into a shop, sit down and chat about their round (which was no doubt a shower of shit) before they forget to buy a round and leave without putting money in the hustle pot. #everygolfclubhasone

I’m struggling to concentrate on your swing given the blatant disregard you have for hitting in front of the rope. You’re better than that, come on Paige.

This is going to divide the masses but here I go….Juniors are not the future of golf. Big John who is desperately trying to get 10 more yards is the future of the golf business. He’s had 3 drivers this year alone. Let’s all be more like Big John!

When this is the best you can do with so little care! #canihavetheropeback

Time to put those beef curtains away! Big day tomorrow! #SolheimCup2023

Struggled to serve today under excitement of the #Serloincup Beef curtains everywhere!

The only positive to come out of todays #SolheimCup2023 was the fact Laura Davies hasn’t been commentating.

It must be a good idea with the size of the crowd it’s attracted!

Can you actually call yourself a real golfer unless you walk into a shop and ask for one of their ‘free’ pencils?

Bravo Ali! A job well done! Great to another set of DIY String Tees out of the game! #notallheroswearcapes

Phones going onto night mode from 13:00 today until Monday morning. Don’t bother calling whilst the #Masters2023 is on.

Anyone else got a member who is so under the thumb you know he has to ask his wife to have a wank?

Tis the season for Subscriptions. I love hearing the guys that play 5 times a week moan it’s gone up 10%.

Serious debate in the pub tonight!! Who will win a major first?

I have been watching Full Swing and @Joel_Dahmen is class! I would travel (a long way) to beer hard with this guy!

Our recent committee meeting had a lengthy discussion about whether to introduce free towels in the shower. I suggested this fella and let the money just flow in.