simon !! ☆ .ᐟ⸝⸝

updated intro ˚. ⭑. ᵎᵎ ✰ ;; simon - they/it ✰ ;; 25 yrs [mdni] ✰ ;; plural & bpd & adhd ✰ ;; ednos [high sw] ✰ ;; NO uncensored sh ᰔ and ⟲ for moots [trying to be more active…]

maybe i should refuse treatment for a while longer so i can lose another 50 - 100 lbs, maybe then people will actually start to care about me

i’m fucking tired of feeling so alone

my therapist thinks i was misdiagnosed when i was younger and im actually autistic

fasting today cuz i went over 1k yesterday and i feel icky

the santa hat might be a permanent addition to my pfp bc it’s cute af

my therapist specifically told me i’ll probably have to gain some in res so i’d really like to lose more before i go…

if i fasted until i get admitted i might be able to lose like 10-20 lbs by then but im also risking refeeding or whatever so idk

might not admit to res for like 2-4 weeks so obviously i have to lose as much weight as possible before then

immediate jump scare when i opened fb today

two months difference i’m fucking tired

i’m so fucking pathetic

i’ve lost 51 lbs in less than 2 months and i’m starting to suffer physically but i’m still fat so i can’t do anything about it

too sick to go to work / hold a job but not sick enough to get help / go to res

but it doesn’t matter how shitty i feel mentally or physically, i’m still too fat to ask for help so what the fuck ever

i was standing in line to vote today for like 45 mins today and i had to lean against the wall the whole time to stay upright