BadFinanceBro

If the Uber price is already surging I’m ordering Uber Black. I’m not getting financially assaulted in a Toyota Camry

If the cheapest concert ticket is $250 I’m getting good seats. I’m not making a terrible financial decision just to also have a bad view

I think paying $47 in DoorDash fees for a $12 meal should qualify me for a government bailout

Everyone on this app is apparently 26 years old with a $4 million net worth. Figured I'd share something a little more personal and representative of the average person

The best time to place a 10-leg parlay is immediately after losing an 8-leg parlay. You already know what went wrong, so statistically you're in a much better position

I’m very good with money. Unfortunately I’m also good enough with money to know exactly how much stupidity I can afford

My financial advisor keeps telling me to diversify my investments, which is why I now have money riding on games in the SEC, Big Ten, MAC, and Sun Belt

I’ve officially run out of reasonable ways to become wealthy, so I’ve narrowed down my remaining options to stop being broke in 2026. 1. Marry Rich This simultaneously solves your financial and relationship problems. Unfortunately, most wealthy families have spent generations protecting their fortunes from people like me, and marrying me would probably be the worst financial decision their daughter ever made. 2. Sports Betting You’re literally just a 12-leg parlay involving Georgia Southern, Navy, Middle Tennessee State, Eastern Michigan, and Booker T. Washington High School Junior Varsity away from generational wealth. The odds are terrible, but so is your current financial situation. 3. Learn to Code Develop an app that identifies AI-generated deepfakes. Your primary competitive advantage is that you have absolutely no idea how difficult this is going to be, which should help you remain optimistic for at least the first six months. 4. Research Your Family History Spend several months investigating your ancestry until you can establish a distant familial connection to Elon Musk. With enough persistence and a sufficiently aggressive attorney, you might be able to convince someone you belong in the inheritance. I understand none of these are guaranteed to work, but neither was going to college and getting a good job, and that already cost me $180,000.

Remember, even though you're broke and single, you're also probably not as funny as you think you are

People will spend $80 on a concert ticket and then watch the entire concert through a six-inch screen so they can prove to people who weren't there that they were there.

Every guy has a friend who insists he could've gone professional in some sport if one or two things had gone differently. Usually those things are talent and athletic ability

A meeting scheduled for 4:30 tells me everything I need to know about how little the organizer values human life

I don’t have expensive taste. I just keep independently determining that the expensive one is better

The AI bubble is fascinating because we spent years convincing ourselves computers were going to make everyone rich, and now the computers are helping us lose money at speeds previously unimaginable

I’ve lost enough money investing that I’m starting to wonder if I should just start buying things I don’t need. At least if I spend $3,000 on a hot tub, I have a hot tub. Right now I’ve spent $3,000 and all I have is a chart that suggests I would’ve been better off letting a raccoon manage my finances

My credit card company keeps increasing my limit without asking. I appreciate that at least one financial institution recognizes my potential

Markets are crashing, but there's no reason to panic when you have a well-diversified portfolio of bad decisions

It's amazing how quickly people go from saying money doesn't buy happiness to explaining exactly how much money they'd need to be happy

I have a friend who refuses to buy anything unless it's on sale. He recently bought a $900 jacket for $600 that he didn't need. He's convinced he made $300

I think the most impressive thing about dating is how two people can spend three months pretending they're significantly more interesting and emotionally stable than they actually are.

Me when a 10/10 asks me to come home with her and I tell her I'm actually having a really good time with the boys