Madison Davis

This is exactly my body type

The liquor store by my house has a huge banner “under new management”. I assure you I never cared.

This girl on insta was like “I’m on the beach in the middle of October! Who can complain about that?” Polar bears.

Project Runway is RuPaul’s Rag Race.

The Magic Castle in Los Angeles is on fire, which is also what I call it when I start my period.

How did I give myself fetal alcohol Syndrome in my 30s?

#AllAmericanHalftime it’s hard to be country now, you have to lay down on the bed just to zip them up.

For a group of people that don’t like abortions, that sure was one. #AllAmericanHalftime #KidRock

Fuck you then

K

I just rolled down my window to tell a girl she was too pretty to be in a PT Cruiser.

I know how this sounds but it’s true. I see and interact with A-list celebrities for my work, but I just saw it NPB FAG @nicolepbrooks at universal studios and my heart was fluttering girl.

I didn’t take my adderall so I forgot to take my beta blocker to go to the gyno. No I would not survive a zombie apocalypse.

I think the “baby on board” sticker should be on the inside of the car to remind yourself not to drive like a stupid bitch.

Yelp should have a “you’re the asshole” button

Nothing can change the manager of the blue jays has absolute girls first tattoo on his wrist.

I’d rather bride my car into the ocean

When will California get bojangles

Where is the California bojangles we were promised

You were supposed to be in California already.

You’re like a million years old o think he was asking people who had the chance not to be racists with wooden teeth