Christofer Hoff (@Beaker) header
Christofer Hoff (@Beaker) profile picture

Christofer Hoff

@Beaker

coffee. creator. cars. cyber. cloud. ‘cue. change. culture. credentials. @ scale Security CTO/CISO/Engineer & Ops focused. Opinions are MINE only

 Somewhere in time and space
rationalsurvivability.com
Joined April 2007
  • Tweets114K
  • Following3K
  • Followers24K
4.9KMedia
Photo by Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)Photo by Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)Photo by Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)Photo by Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)Photo by Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)Photo by Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)Photo by Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)Photo by Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)Photo by Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)Photo by Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)
Please learn to listen to the pain our kids feel before they express it in ways like this. If you need help understanding how awful this can be & what you can do as a parent, my DMs are open. It doesn’t take much imagination to understand how I know this. xitter.gq/cnn/status/99694490858…
CNN (@CNN) profile pictureCNN
@CNN17 May 2018
The percentage of children and teens hospitalized for suicidal thoughts or actions in the United States doubled from 2008 to 2015, new research shows cnn.it/2rMq85q
Image from CNN (@CNN)
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9 to 5 (Elon edition)
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Incredible work by the @googlecloud team on developing detection signatures for nearly all major versions of Cobalt Strike… This is one of the most comprehensive CS Beacon yara collections I’ve seen yet. cloud.google.com/blog/produc…
Making Cobalt Strike harder for threat actors to abuse | Google Cloud Blog

Making Cobalt Strike harder for threat actors to abuse | Google Cloud Blog

A new initiative from Google Cloud and Cobalt Strike’s vendor has made it easier to find and block cracked versions of the popular red team software.

cloud.google.com
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This is all the rage in the Valley
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Leah Culver (@leahculver) profile pictureLeah Culver
@leahculver16 Nov 2022
What should I wear to the office today as a “hardcore” engineer? Reply with pics thanks.
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There is likely a qualifier after the “yes” but…you need to make better life choices, my dude.
Farokh (@farokh) profile pictureFarokh
@farokh16 Nov 2022
Are you kidding me? Listen to what @kevinolearytv had to say when asked if he’d support SBF again if he knocked on his door with a new idea… you guys are delusional to speak of him that way. Wtf.
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Unfollow.
Justin Elze (@HackingLZ) profile pictureJustin Elze
@HackingLZ16 Nov 2022
Hacking, Race cars, and whatever else nothing melts people minds more than me telling them I have never had a cup of coffee.
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There are many things you should listen to Rob about, and this is one of them. That said, I should disclose as Mr. Wonderful did about his FTX investment, that 60% of my recommendations are valid every time.
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Robert Graham (@robertgraham) profile pictureRobert Graham
@robertgraham16 Nov 2022
🧵"Twitter 2.0" is trending. I'm a foremost expert on this and let me tell you what you should do: quit, take the 3 month severance with your friends, and build the 2.0 version yourself. Musk will give up and buy your company in a couple years.
Image from Robert Graham (@robertgraham)
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GoFundMe page?
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This aged well. I value this thread at $8.
Christofer Hoff (@Beaker) profile pictureChristofer Hoff@Beaker31 Oct 2022
Yeah so…Twitter Blue currently billing @ $2.99/mo. I cancel (because, meh) and to incentivize me to reconsider, their offer is $4.99/mo. Is this how Dogecoin economics work? I can see where this is going.
Image from Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)
Image from Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)
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I wonder how this insurance claim went? At least the chunk of whale blubber was there for evidence…
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U.S. Naval Institute (@NavalInstitute) profile pictureU.S. Naval Institute
@NavalInstitute12 Nov 2022
#OTD in 1970, the Oregon Highway Division consulted with the U.S. Navy and decided the best way to dispose of a whale carcass was to blow it up with a 1/2 ton of dynamite. The explosion caused blubber to rain down on spectators for over a 1/4 of a mile. The TV segment is classic.
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I believe the same was written of David Koresh, Jim Jones and Reverend Moon?
Christian Reilly (@reillyusa) profile pictureChristian Reilly@reillyusa13 Nov 2022
Oops.
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I’m just gonna ignore that this place is imploding for a while longer, continue sh*tposting until I see the image below, flip a deuce sign and be on my merry way.
Image from Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)
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No, I don’t have a coffee problem. Why do you ask?
Image from Christofer Hoff (@Beaker)
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“…marvel of food engineering.” 🤓
Igor Bobic (@igorbobic) profile pictureIgor Bobic
@igorbobic12 Nov 2022
Folks, I’m sitting at Guy Fieri’s restaurant in Flavortown, DC, drinking something called a “Guy Tai,” and this marvel of food engineering just arrived. Life could not get any better.
Image from Igor Bobic (@igorbobic)
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Christofer Hoff retweeted
Lisa Forte (@LisaForteUK) profile picture
Lisa Forte@LisaForteUK10 Nov 2022
Arguably one of the best awareness videos ever made 😂😂
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Somewhere in there is “PHP is not dead, it just wants to go for a walk or, in this case, do a little HipHop” < IYKYK
Vic 📠 (@VicVijayakumar) profile pictureVic 📠
@VicVijayakumar1 Nov 2022
1995: PHP is dead, learn ColdFusion 2002: PHP is dead, learn ASP​.net 2003: PHP is dead, learn Django 2004: PHP is dead, learn Ruby on Rails 2010: PHP is dead, learn Flask 2011: PHP is dead, learn AngularJS 2016: PHP is dead, learn Next.js 2022: okay this is awkward
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The kids demand a show…
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Bruh! Congrats!!!!
haxorthematrix (@haxorthematrix) profile picturehaxorthematrix@haxorthematrix31 Oct 2022
Today marks the first day of my new adventure as Product Security Research and Analysis Director at @FiniteStateInc!
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Almost (ALMOST) as good as the amazing explanation of the Monster logo! youtu.be/bntfUA6TmLs
MONSTER Energy drinks are the work of SATAN!!!

MONSTER Energy drinks are the work of SATAN!!!

Jukin Media Verified (Original)* For licensing / permission to use...

youtube.com
Davram (@davramdavram) profile pictureDavram@davramdavram30 Oct 2022
Here’s the kind of “info” we can look forward to getting on twitter from here on out.
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Well, I need so clean my laptop screen now.
Jason Geffner (@JasonGeffner) profile pictureJason Geffner@JasonGeffner31 Oct 2022
With infosec Twitter dying and Mastodon unlikely to takeoff, the only remaining option is for all of infosec Twitter to join Microsoft as full-time employees and talk in our security chat internal Teams channel.
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No matter what happens, I can always look back fondly on my twitter experience since 2007 and realize that the one viral post I made that had 2 Million impressions was about a fishing box that contained cheese.
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