baby yoda is a narc

I’m gonna piss in the Joker’s mouth

Are we doing vinyl chloride train derailment discourse yet? Hey @elonmusk can you recommend building some totally impractical piece of shit to help the people of East Palestine so we can get more eyes on this?

They should have forced Tyler Sheridan to write and direct Jurassic World Dominion

lol bye Twitter

@PFF great job

Did you know that instead of blood I’m full of juice

I’m made out of 95% horse meat

A handjob is like someone giving you a dollar in quarters

Normalize saying “hey, why the long penis” to your friends instead of “hey, why the long face.”

We invented type 3 snake diabetes so you don’t have to worry about the other two, also we’re a snake based economy now, this is progress

I’m the president of kicking ass

Calling the baby ones piglets and the adult ones piglots seems like a missed opportunity in the english language

🇺🇦 🐐

Good luck talking about waste management this week John Oliver

People in bathrobes seem more naked than people in their underwear

Only referring to Daredevil as Law & Order: MCU from now on.

CRYPTO CRYPTO CRYPTO @nflcommish I blame you