Collector of many things, lover of sport, music and comedy. Doing my bit for the World by recycling old jokes. and Have a chuckle on me. Member of FS Union.
On the coast
Joined November 2009
- Tweets59.1K
- Following8.7K
- Followers12.2K
- Likes224K
I am sorry to share that Bob passed away peacefully on Saturday and appreciated everyone's kindness in wishing him to succeed.
He was kind, caring, dedicated, protective and above all else, a fantastic Husband, father, brother & grandfather.
Please join me in celebrating Bob's life through these photos. If you have any memories or photos of Bob, please share them here as it will be nice to hear those stories.
I phoned the local radio station today. The presenter answered and said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize."
"That's fantastic!" I shouted in delight.
"Feel confident?" he asked. "It's a maths question."
"Well, I've got a degree in maths and teach it at my local school," I proudly replied.
"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 front row seats to a Justin Bieber concert and to meet him back stage what is 2+2?"
"7" I replied.
I had a really weird dream last night that I weighed less than one thousandth of a gram.
I was like 0mg....
This is such a heart-warming story
Two Terrorists boarded a flight out of London.. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.
Just before take-off, a Royal Marine sat down in the aisle seat.
After take-off the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said 'I need to get up and get a Coke.'
'Don't get up,' said the Marine 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'
As soon as he left one of the Arabs picked up the Marine's shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned with the Coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good. I'd really like one too.' Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.
While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine's other shoe and spat in it. When the Marine returned they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbours,
'Why does it have to be this way?'
'How long must this go on ? This fighting between our nations?
This hatred?
This animosity?
This spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes?'
Finally a Police Force making sure masks are removed at these protests
avonandsomerset.police.uk/ne…
There was a gentleman who went to a hostel to ask if any ladies would like to go for a ride in his boat up the river ,one lady replied that she would love to go up the river with the gentleman and he said he would bring a bottle of wine two glasses and some chicken sandwichs ,they got in the boat and they headed up the river and when the gentleman got to the fork in the river he said to the lady Up or Down at which time the lady ripped of her clothes and then ripped of the gentleman clothes and they made love later they dressed the gentleman took the lady back to the hostel and arranged to meet again
On the next boat cruise he again came to the fork in the river and ask the lady Up or Down she replied up
He said last time I asked you ,you ripped of our clothes and we made love ,the lady replied I didn't have my hearing aids I thought you said Fuck or Drown
Vintagebobt retweeted
BREAKING: Following the Lebanese government’s unanimous vote to disarm Hezbollah, Islamists have taken to the streets, threatening suicide bombings and mass killings.
Islamists are a threat to every society they’re in.
Vintagebobt retweeted
When the police fail us. When politicians fail us. When we have no law and order. The people will eventually take matters into their own hands and rightly so.
xitter.gq/i/status/1953755656512…
@gbnews @talktv @RupertLowe10 @AllisonPearson Every day we see thousands of incidents on social media of reports of rapes, assaults, indecency, robbery, theft and other behaviours caused by the third world imports.
A national emergency needs to be declared. This can't go on. 🤷♂️
Four guys had been going to the same fishing site for many years.Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.Ron's buddies are of course very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?Two days later, the three get to the camping site to find Ron already sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire, having a cold beer."Crap, Ron, how long you been here? And how did you talk your Mrs. into letting you go?""Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well, turns out she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey......On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.And then she said, "Do whatever you want."So, here I am!
