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Do guys even take girls on dates anymore? Like the dress up and I’ll pick you up at 7 type of dates. Surprise me. You make the plans. That’s so attractive to me.
My sister just called my mom crying cause she vacuumed up her joint at the car wash and that was her last one and I cannot stop laughing about it man.
Tynleigh - “Ma. You know you like a cow cause you feed sissy from your tittys & we get milk from cows tittys”
IM TOO TIRED FOR THIS SHIT 😭
My grandpa just called and said he booked me a prenatal massage as a Mother’s Day gift to get my ass up and get moving 🤣💗
Y’all pray my water breaks today. My birthday is on national tequila day. It’s only right I have a cinco baby.






