Fury walks out to “All I Want For Christmas Is You”.
This already has the feel of a ridiculous pantomime.
#UsykFury2
I thought I was watching ‘Embarrassing Bodies’ because I’ve just seen a talking cock.
#bbcqt
Did you know that an anagram of Nigel Farage is….
Anal Egg Fire
#bbcqt
This lady eats the Daily Mail for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
#bbcqt
God, this is emotional.
Please, someone tuck into some kangaroo minge to cheer me up.
#ImACeleb #imacelebrity #barrymcguigan
I hadn’t realised the opening title sequence for ‘I’m a Celebrity’ was Gary Barlow getting his son some alphabet spaghetti.
#ImACeleb #garybarlow #imacelebrity
Chris McCausland was found holding a cheese grater in his dressing room.
One of the most violent books he’s ever read.
#Strictly
Gareth Southgate should not be praised for bringing on Palmer or Watkins.
They should have started!!!!
#ThreeLions #ENGSPA #EURO2024 #itscominghome
What’s the difference between Harry Kane and a burning bag of shit?
Nothing
#ENGSPA #ThreeLions #ItsComingHome
Why did Harry Kane cross the road?
Because Gareth Southgate was holding his hand and waiting for the green man.
#ItsComingHome #ENGSPN #EURO2024 #ThreeLions
What does Rishi Sunak and a teenager’s vacuum cleaner have in common?
They’re both fucked.
#Elections2024 #GE24 #GeneralElection2024 #ExitPoll
“Alexa, can you show me the mind of a Daily Mail reader”
#EURo2024 #SERENG #threelions #england #ENGSRB
Seeing Amanda Holden’s outfit I’m not sure if I’ve tuned into Britains Got Talent or Babestation
#bgtfinal
“Alexa, show me a picture of someone out of their depth”
#bbcqt #generalelection
“Now announce a general election and say you’re going to win it”
#GeneralElection
Me thinking of the prospect of not having the Tories in charge anymore.
#GeneralElection














