@calwokebot

My wife went to Cal, she’s the smart one. I shitpost all things @CalFootball. Sports masochist. #Calgorithm. IRL award winning paid social media expert.

 Rochester, NY
throne.com/calwokebot
Joined September 2023
  • Tweets5.8K
  • Following304
  • Followers1.7K
1.3KMedia
Cornball activities
🇺🇸 𝕯𝖗𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝕱𝖗𝖊𝖓 🇵🇱🐍@dronetreadonmeOct 25
GM fellow Americans
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.@carson_tk freshman 50
carson tk
@carson_tkOct 26
Dude I’m actually so fat I went from eating at Arnold to Mac’s place in like an hour
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I think Tosh has a humiliation kink based on our last two losses
Cal Football
@CalFootballOct 24
Final.
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Cal is undefeated when I mow my lawn on a Saturday. These little things matter.
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Cal confirmed upsetting SMU now
Just Means Less ACC
@JML_ACCOct 23
🚨WEEK 8 PICKS🚨 Who you rocking with?
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Woke Cal Bot retweeted
Admiral Bear
@AdmiralBear01Oct 23
🫡💙💛
⚜️Alan Thomas⚜️@CardN_ALOct 23
College fanbase tiers
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Let’s run this back
Woke Cal Bot
@calwokebot9 Aug 2025
Cal will beat SMU and ruin their playoff chance.
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SMU booster George W Bush declares “Mission Accomplished, we beat Cal” several days before the game is played. Surely this won’t be a problem.
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Clearly fake, Tosh can’t grow a beard like that
PonyACCess
@ACCessPonyOct 20
The culprits of the November 29th, 2025 massacre have been identified as Cal-Qaeda operatives. SMU will put an end to this regime of terror once and for all on Saturday
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Woke Cal Bot retweeted
GOLDEN Bearz@Golden_BearzOct 18
I wish I didn’t have to make this
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Woke Cal Bot retweeted
Tyler Tomei
@TomeiTylerOct 18
School that lets Jaydn Ott walk around your university club after he laughed at you on the way out upset about where we are at with JKS. Need every donor and admin to have a look in the mirror.
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This Cal game
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I’m grateful that we’re dead in this game
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I want off Mr. Tosh’s wild ride
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My dog is crying, thanks Tosh
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Woke Cal Bot retweeted
Tony Kransinski
@wetbeefsOct 18
Unplanned Mass: First Time Ever xitter.cf/i/broadcasts/1pJdRDkez…
0:00

Tony Kransinski

Unplanned Mass: First Time Ever

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Good morning Cal Twitter, just another very normal gameday in Berkeley against ancient rivals Wake Forest at 10:30 pm Eastern
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Woke Cal Bot retweeted
Cal Water Polo@CalWaterPoloOct 17
DOWN GOES NO. 1! 🌲🪓 #GoBears | #BigSplash
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Dante Moore stumbled into Berkeley still concussed thinking he’s the starting QB for Tosh
Tell The Whole Damn World!
@Win4CalOct 17
Hearing A LOT of chatter about some developing news regarding Cal Football... Not going to speculate right now. But will definitely share my thoughts if/when things come to light. Hang tough, Golden Bear fans.
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Conspiracy time: the Dodgers threw the NLCS so they can say “see the money doesn’t matter don’t blame us for the lockout”
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