“Your standards should be i really want a nice human-being whos gonna treat me correctly and i want them to show me unconditional love and show me how much they care for me”.
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“If your standards for a relationship have quantitative value, you’re using numbers to describe how much someone loves you, you don’t really want a relationship. You don’t want to have a long-term partner”.
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I want someone who understands that conflict doesn’t have to threaten the entire relationship. Someone who can communicate when they’re upset without becoming cruel, listen without immediately becoming defensive and acknowledge when they’ve made a mistake. Being able to disagree while still protecting each other’s dignity is one of the most important parts of building a lasting relationship.
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When someone prefers fighting a fictional strawman over hearing actual clarification, they aren't trying to resolve friction, they are seeking a justification to be offended and hold frame control through outrage. Real respect requires the discipline to audit facts over assumptions.
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This may sound harsh, but no one likes being around someone who is always sad, always complaining, always has bad news or something negative to say. It can be incredibly exhausting.
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Someone who genuinely listens and tries to understand you is one of the deepest forms of love. It’s having someone who doesn’t dismiss your feelings, interrupt your thoughts, or make you feel difficult for expressing yourself. Someone who cares enough to understand where you’re coming from, even when they don’t completely agree. Feeling heard without having to fight for it is a kind of comfort money can’t buy.
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consideration is so important but make sure that goes both ways.
