You ask: Why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: Why not marry safe science if you love it so much.
Cleveland, OH
Joined March 2011
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Remember! If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't give yourself any literature. The lab boys say something bad will happen.
Cave Johnson here. Just a friendly reminder that your ASHPD warranty is up, and may slightly implode. But that's neither here nor there.
Cave Johnson here. Aperture Science will donate $1 to #Hostess for every retweet this gets. That's science, folks! You can't explain that.
Portals have been correlated with sudden death. Correlation does not imply causation, mind you. It doesn't prove anything.
** YAAAWWN ** Cave Johnson here. If this tweet makes you yawn, good news: you're not a clone. If not: Clones live 24 hours, so live it up.
Cave Johnson here. For Halloween, chambers are now lit with ultraviolet light. If you're not glowing, report to the gamma ray room.
Cave Johnson here. People have been asking what the water in the chambers is made of. Test subjects who ask too many questions, that's what.
They said nothing can travel faster than light. Neutrino: "Did it anyway." I like this guy, where can I find him?
Let's see what you got. And you'll be forwarding YouTube entertainment by 20, 30 years to boot. http://bit.ly/mwW9ZZ
Aperture Science investment opportunity #5: The Stalemate Resolution Button. Resolving conflicts at home couldn't be easier!
Cave Johnson here, with your weekly investment opportunity, or should I say, sure thing. http://bit.ly/eR4f1J
Aperture Science Investment Opportunity #3: Turrets. Heeh. I just found out who ordered that orange stripped one. http://bit.ly/hpgtBh
Tragic accident at the ApSci Day Care below the Center for Experimental Gravitation. Other news: it's Eat Kids Free Day at the ApSci Cafe!
Cave Johnson here, check out the Aperture Science(C) Panel (TM) promotional video. http://youtu.be/MgMeNQx-bFo
#100factsaboutme 1) The original charter for Aperture Science was to create shower curtains. The name made them sound more hygienic.
I love technology. I'm tweeting you from beyond the grave! And I don't just mean I'm hiding behind a tombstone. I am NOT STILL ALIVE.