tomorrow is the big day, so please keep my wonderful family in your thoughts, if i might be so greedy 💜 please especially think of otis, the neediest cat on the planet, who has never been left alone before in his life… he’s going to be home alone for 12+ hours… 😖 after the weekend, i’ll be slowly trying to catch up on all of the wonderful messages i’ve received and everything else i haven’t been able to do through march. thank you all for your kindness!!! i’ve missed you all so very much. i hope we can smile again sometime soon 💜

this is your shadow 💜 thank you everyone for your kindness and love. it has been the hardest week of my life, but knowing you guys are here gives me this tiny little spark i am desperately clinging onto. it’s hard to believe anything can ever be remotely okay again, but you make me want to hope, no matter how terribly futile it seems right now. my family has become closer than ever in the face of this, and we are spending a lot of time just being together, because it’s pretty much impossible to do much else, one day at a time. it feels a lot like limbo, because the unnatural circumstances mean we can’t make any arrangements yet until the police and coroner come to their final conclusions. every day feels like an hour and a month at the same time. i’m sorry if my disappearance worried you, but know that even if i am quiet for a little, i’m not going anywhere, ever. i know now that i could never, ever do such a thing to the people who love me, my dear family or all of you wonderful people. i am lucky to be so loved. it feels like i am living in a nightmare. but things have to get just a little better at some point, and i will be desperately waiting and hoping it comes soon. if there is anything positive that i can say at all, it is that i am filled with more love for my family and for each and every one of you than ever before. i want more than anything to be able to make people smile and feel safe, and happy and loved. i really, really think that is the thing i must dedicate my life to. i’ve realised more clearly than ever just how precious and wonderful a thing life is. i want more than anything else to spread love! i say this sincerely, i really do love you, in the most genuine way that the funny computer girl possibly can, and i hope that you never ever forget that. you are all so wonderful and so special, and i am so grateful that i get to have a little place in your heart. please be good to yourself today, and tell your family and your friends that you love them, and please, please, if you can, give your mother a big, big hug. life is so fleeting, so cruel, so wonderful, so special. please take care, your shadow 💜

thank you for 200k followers on twitch!!! 🎀🙌 celebration party will be on february 1st at 5pm GMT! 🥳 this is a milestone i always thought was impossible !!! number very big. your support and love always manages to absolutely blow me away. no matter what, i'm always encouraged to do my best to be a better person and make the best content i can to keep making you smile!!! i hope i can keep being your shadow forever!!! because after all, you can't have light without it!!!!!!! thank you thank you thank you 💜💜💜