Dave Cooley

My wife sent me to Publix for milk. Two hours later I’m on IPA #5, elbows deep in wings, patrolling the self-checkout like a damn security guard with a pint in my hand and a suspicious eye on every Yankee trying to scan their own kale. 🧐 🍺 This is not a drill. They put a real bar inside the store. 🍷 Publix: Where shopping is literally a pleasure. Came for the BOGOs, stayed for happy hour, leaving with a solid buzz and zero milk. 😂 The best part? Sitting at that bar watching all the other husbands slowly realize they’re never making it home with the groceries either. 👏🏻 Is it still grocery shopping if you’re hammered? Asking for a friend who’s definitely sleeping on the couch tonight. Send help. Or more wings. 🍺🛒💀