Ever since I was a young man in ranier beach I knew I was destined to live somewhere dominated by Safeway violence (entire United States)
I only make lasagna twice a month but thanks to advanced deep 11x14 technology that means I get to eat nothing but lasagna for at least eight days
Someone should move into the master bed/bathroom and pay half my rent, I haven’t entered this bathroom in six months and only enter the bedroom to look for cables. Only conditions are that I will be in the living room watching Voyager at 2:45AM sharp every day
Every foldable buyer I know never made it a full year with one phone even before they bought a foldable, as long as this thing is remotely functional at 16 months I’m not sure this is putting off many potential customers
I’ve only ordered one thing online since I moved in May and I had it sent to my parents’ house, I’m afraid if I break the seal it’ll be over
I haven’t bothered to figure out where the light switches are yet so I leave the bathroom light on or sometimes in the morning I’ll open the the garage door and turn my headlight on
The only problem with shins is that they always feel wet when they’re hit so you assume it’s a bruise until you get in the shower
13 eggs and cheese is the most probable outcome but I feel like there’s gotta be a better combination somewhere in there
























