Music Comedy
Vancouver
Joined January 2011
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Just took the recycling out and thought @CardiB is a fun nickname for cardboard.
New setting on Spotify where can filter out all the musicians who are abusers. Go into settings and privacy, click account, then click on content preferences, and then from there click "allow abusers" to off, and then what it does is Spotify uninstalls and deletes your account.
Devin Alexander retweeted
I needed to be true to myself and post this on twitter dot com at the unhinged west coast hour of 6:06AM.
So you heard it here first
When a kid says "are we there yet?" in a car, it means they want to know if they are close to their destination.
When i say "Are we there yet?" in a relationship, it means "Can I fart and make a production out of it?"
All I know is if my jazz clubs are open I'll be fine. As long as I got my bebop, I'll be tip top during the apocalypse.
#notMitchHedberg
Saw a chair upside down at the end of the night at a restaurant and I thought "Man, that's the one time a chair gets a break."
youtu.be/UTtF0AMLvrY
Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
8 years ago I put together this music video to a Home Alone beat I made. Xoxo youtu.be/UTtF0AMLvrY
Three years ago to this day I accomplished the incredible feat of acquiring a Code Red Mountain Dew Sponsorship and I've yet to surpass this achievement. facebook.com/511225559/posts…
Did my first weekend hosting a club ever. It was a real swell time. After the show at the urinal a man asked me if girls ever ask if they can rub my head or oil up my body after they see me perform. facebook.com/511225559/posts…
"I once foiled this man's plans on stealing a bike. He said "look at you, you hotshot rookie cop." You ever get an insult where you come out on top?
One of the best comedians in Canada: my friend Katie-Ellen Humphries, is doing her comedy album taping tonight! facebook.com/511225559/posts…
I often bump into old coworkers or friends and they give me the same reason why they didn't recognize me.
"Oh hey, I didn't recognize you because you're wearing a hat."
You realize a hat only covers my forehead... facebook.com/511225559/posts…
Yuk yuks has a manager gig they need filled for anyone interested! facebook.com/511225559/posts…
Movie about Kanye West starring Danny McBride as Kanye West? Sounds beautiful. James Kennedy Chris Griffin Colin Sharp you guys heard of this yet?! youtube.com/attribution_link…
No monkeying around, I just finished a workout.
#allyoucaneatfitness instagram.com/p/Bz067JoBECmb…
