dexoxeck

ALT Hello, there! Have you accepted our lord and savior Jesus Christ into your life? You're not talking about THE Jesus Christ, are you? We go WAY back! I remember when he got grounded for a week, and I ended up sneaking him out day three! We ended up TP-ing Pontius Pilate's house. What a night that was! But then his dad found out, and ended up grounding him for about 2000 years. Come to think of it, it's not long until he returns, is it not?

ALT You have had at least 20 ice cream cones. Don't you think you've had enough? I must not stop now, for I am on a mission. I saw it all on television; A serial killer is on the loose in Miami, and it's up to me to stop him! All of television is real, and so is this "Bay Harbor Butcher" guy they keep showing! Next time he's on his boat, a surprise shall be waiting for him... A hungry shark may appear, and the more ice cream I buy, the more likely a shark attack will occur right there on that boat! I saw a graph on this. I mean, correlation always equals causation, right? MIAMI: WE NEED TO OUTLAW ALL ICE CREAM SALES NOW! HW5 5 SHARKS RAVEN-

ALT “It’s hard to make a joke about this door with only one panel.” Oh, I get it! Haha! You actually like this garbage? This is terrible! Meta comedy is atrocious! You wouldn’t know meta if it hit you in the nuance. Oh, you require meta? I’ll introduce you to some meta!

ALT Hurray, a cookie informing me of my fortunes! I wonder what luck lies inside… You should purchase a car. NOW! Lucky numbers: Honda Accord Advertisements in MY fortune cookie? This is the true capitalistic dream! Thanks, Reagan! You are quite welcome, Thing.

ALT Are you drinking gas? Why would I drink gas? What are you drinking? Juice. Juice? Indeed. Want an amount? So like, just to be clear here, where did you get this from? By a gas pump. Empty? No, I drank it. DRANK WHAT?

ALT Check it out! I won an “evil” balloon from the evil carnival! Evil? Uh, oh. Maybe a bit too evil. We all float up here. It appears so.

ALT Ah, look at this! A timeless video game with visuals that hold up completely fine on their own. Observe as I “remaster” the visuals the industry standard way! I’m Wacky dude! Grease and Oil Wow. Truly remarkable. I smudged this realistic graphics filter all over the screen and it looks absolutely terrible! I’’n Wocky oude l