distantgrapes

when insta start tellin’ people you zoomed in on they shit we all done for

Traveling in Pennsylvania summed up in a picture.

made a promise to myself that I wasn’t going to pick this scab and brother do I have some bad news

An option play, 3 4th down tries, qb under center for 4th and goal…who is the Penn state team?! #PennStateFootball

The boy wanted to be a baseball card. So he’s a baseball card. @Mets #Mets #petealonso

My son always referred to @Mets first baseman Pete Alonso as “Pizza Lonso”

One and a third innings into the Mets season and I’ve already said “this guy stinks” about Clay Holmes. I’m so happy baseball is back! #LGM

At @WellsFargoCtr for the @NHLFlyers game and the boy had to stop to take a picture with @steveaustinBSR

Still crazy how much heat @TrueKofi’s upper lip draws as a heel.

Why does using a printer feel like a very boomer thing to do?

I’m honestly amazed as to how much @TrueKofi shaving his mustache off helped get him over as a heel. I could’ve gone my whole life not seeing that upper lip.

I hope Shifting Gears does well but it’s hard to believe that Kat Denning’s is in another sitcom playing another woman who is broke in a timeline when OF exists…

Imagine if @PennStateFball had the NIL capability of ensuring Allar, Warren, Carter, and Allen all come back next season. @PSUBarstool

I live for @PatMcAfeeShow telling people they suck immediately after blowing the biggest opportunity of their lives. #collegegameday

So far the smartest thing I’ve done as a parent is tell my children that all the stink bugs that are in our house are named Don Julio and they work for Santa checking in to see if they’re behaving instead of having to do Elf on a Shelf. #ParentingTips

Davante Adams to the Jets is another Raiders chapter in stupidity.

If your dad is still alive, don’t pass up the opportunity to ask him this question: Fuck, marry, k*ll - Willem Defoe, William H. Macy, Gary Oldman.

Listen, seeing @derekcarrqb thrive in New Orleans makes me happy for him but it also makes loathe Josh McDaniels even more.

Bad parents @blink182 #philly

Is a Paul George max contract worth it? Will this help the @sixers get over the playoff hump? I can’t tell you that, but I do know that