Dr. Elisa v2.015

Given this week, this is appropriate.

Trump: America, you can grab her by the pussy and she'd let you. Congress: Yep.

American airlines chief operations officer should be fired. The operations at AA have declined in the last 2 years, impacting customers and business clients. No accountability on their declining commitment to their customers.

American airlines continues to decline on performance, ranking the lowest among large carriers for on-time departures. Case in point, my third trip this week and every single one of my flights on AA is delayed more than 1 hour. Time to start using Delta Air (ranks #1)

Just attended a gun show where there's a preponderance of religious beliefs mixed among the artillery. Kind of like these people are using their anal beads as rosaries.

Growing old is ironic. Women are dry due to ask the bodily fluids being directly to hot flash sweats. Men become bald because they're growing hair every where else.

When a man wears pink, I think he's identifying with feminists or he lacks laundry skills.

Until death, do we partyyyyyyyy. Marriage in a nut shell.

"Until death, do we part" accounts for the majority of murders by spouse.

You have to have impeccable timing to be a waiter. For example, you have to ask a question as soon as the patron stuffs a bite into his mouth.

PurpleReign!! #TEXvsUW

@Avis when your app says "your rental is ready" it LIED. YOU DID NOT HAVE ANY CARS AVALIABLE!! Instead of not notifying your renters so we can use other competitors, you choose to LIE.

Fuck you @Avis this is the third meeting I'm missing because you can't plan when folks like me have a reservation 2 weeks in advance. Your app sucks too.

I wish using your brain burned calories.

Our daily exchanges entertain me greatly.

I left enough hair back in the hotel to be framed for several murders.

Small town? Tried it. - Robert Card #JasonAldean

An intruder is in the house. I'm hiding in the closet. I'm trying to dial 911. Fucking Samsung galaxy phone software update installation! #whySoManyUpdates?

Well, well, well. The same pro-life Christians clutching at their rosaries are the same ones arguing why we should not get involved in what's happening in Israel.