Philip J. Fry

Wait, I’m having an idea! Wait, no. Yes! No. Mmm... no. Yes. Yes! Wait wait... no. Yes. Sigh, no.......

I don't know what people are complaining about, Emmet's double-decker couch is brilliant.

That’s it. You’re off the Xmas card list. Meaning you’re on Robot Santa’s list. Enjoy! xitter.gq/dom_doud/status/763574…

If we park on a driveway, but drive on a parkway, why aren’t freeways free?

Mondays.

Who did this.

I still can’t believe it’s not butter. I mean, then what is it? And it’s not going to try to eat me, right?

You know what? Asking for a friend.

Wait, I think I just figured out what TGIF stands for. Nope, lost it.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was... something something. Peanut butter.

Fry and Bender, a wining combination. Let's call ourselves Friender! Friender, Friender, Friender! Friender, Friender, Friender.

Planet Express needs more money, maybe we should start an... un-delivery service. Yeah, you pay us to not deliver things you don't like.

You know, I really am fortunate to have a girlfriend. Especially one who is: a) willing to be seen with me in public and 2) alive

Did everything just taste purple? Or did we just get canceled again? dlvr.it/3GbJHC

Don't you worry about Futurama coming back this summer with more season 7 episodes. Let me worry about blank. ow.ly/hEnpb

Huh. Did everything just taste purple for a second?

If I have ever taught you anything, I hope you've learned to never, ever, ever bet against me being stupid.

Shhhhhhhhhhhh, did you hear that? Everything just tasted purple again.

It's time to twit my hourly twupdate!

I'm not sure which makes a more terrifying, shrieking sound: Amy when she realizes she's out of matching socks, or Morbo doing karaoke.