Haymaker

Hey, SF. We’re coming for you in 2020. See everyone at @pianofight! #sfsketchfest 🌉

Please remember us as the paranoid stoners and trash-talking drunks we once were.

The @packtheater is our home. Please help us keep the lights on once we're allowed to turn the lights back on. Tune in tonight from 6pm PST to midnight! 💡 VENMO: @pack-theater 💰 WATCH: twitch.tv/packtheater 💻

was at the thrift store when an old woman stopped me she was holding a cardboard box “are these action figures all good guys? they’re for my grandson and he wants to be a good guy” “yes” I said it was so sweet i didn’t have the heart to tell her it was a box full of dildos

when im clapping correctly on 2&4 but the rest of the audience is on 1&3

this is aaaaalll going to come together when the carona virus pulls off the biggest heist in Vegas history

i wish they would have taught us real life skills in high school like how to quickly ghost your dm’s or how to properly flake ten minutes before a dinner party legit rt if you’ve done this 👆more than trigonometry

explaining why the audio sucks is my favorite first part of a youtube video

lil haymaker. big haymaker.

finally a candidate i can get behind

What's the most scary pasta you've ever eaten? Don't hold back I really want to know, tell me your freakiest noodle.

i always forget which spoon is the soup spoon and which spoon is for butt stuff #etiquette

APPARENTLY airlines FROWN upon singing KORN’s Freak On A Leash during the safety instructions wutever that chick was boooooring #thingstheydontteachyouinschool

Fun fact Einstein had no tongue, he had a pipe.

Sometimes I look at all of human creation and just think....wow we all seriously liked Lincoln Park for three years....like not as a joke...

instead of watching the debates im going to throw a toilet paper tube in a hamster cage and watch ‘em go at it