24 year old New England comedian and sketch comedy writer
Massachusetts, USA
Joined July 2020
- Tweets65
- Following241
- Followers213
- Likes256
Can’t wait till my college calls to check in on their alumns and I can tell them about the sick sandwhich shop that just hired me
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What I thought I’d be doing in Austin:
-Seeing pro comics perform every night
-Hitting 4-5 sets a night
-Getting booked a lot
What I’m actually doing:
-Drinking
-Looking for parking
-Getting scammed by the homeless
-Being comic #95 at an open mic
-Drinking again
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Guy: this bike helmet hasn’t been protecting me the way I thought it would
Elected official: ok but have you tried wearing two bike helmets?
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Describe yourself as a millennial/gen z in one sentence. I’ll go first:
I put on a podcast just to empty the dishwasher
Store manager: you better say “happy holidays” or you’re fired.
store music: HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS
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What I said in 2019 vs. what 2020 heard
#corona #covid_19 #comedy #covidjokes #2020 instagram.com/p/CIkHsvigJ5l/…
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Adults during the election look like kids on Christmas Eve sitting in front of a virtual map all night and shouting locations
What if there was a section on the ballot where you rate your enthusiasm for your chosen candidate.
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If you’re an adult who still uses the word “tummy” you might wanna rethink some things in your life
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Thought It was weird that @WhitneyCummings and @taylortomlinson tix were so cheap but turns out that was the cost of the snack basket and I never actually purchased tix and now they’re sold out but I guess I can go eat my snack basket in a parking lot in CT.
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@WhitneyCummings @taylortomlinson 2 spots just opened up & I was able to get tickets!! I’m so happy
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