Whiskey & Goats Milk

@nedhepburn @AntDeRosa what did I miss?

Eating at @pauliegee and I have missed this place so

Everyone please stop yelling at my hangover

I have an iPad now and I'm freaking out

ATTN NYC: if anyone sees this Fuji feather one speed bike on craigslist please let me know because it… instagram.com/p/qmKg2zou2c/

I hate this timehop app cause it's just reminding me that two years ago I was in love on a rooftop and ugh life, you know?

Traveling is the worst when you're sober why did I do that?

7 hours later I made it from NYC to Syracuse I feel like that part where Frodo is like "now there is no reason to ever leave my house again"

"Tim Howard here for Trojan condoms. 1 out of 16 times they save your American ass, every time"

I'm covered in stress sweat, thanks sports!

Thank you, blood sucking mosquito for allowing me to have that hour of sleep before my 6 am wake up call just in time for a race

“@pauliegee: I'll be your date if you come here. RT @howdymari: Should I take myself on a date to @pauliegee or @thebountybk ?” OW MY HEART

Should I take myself on a date to @pauliegee or @thebountybk ?

I would love to get famous enough that when people google "young Mari de monte" all these slammin selfies show up and everyone is like damn

Young Neil degrasse Tyson is giving me feelings right now

Please stop making memes about you giving birth. Example: BABY WHY U NO COME OUT NOW next to a rage face is rude to your unborn child