incorrect sambucky

bucky: i have bde. bisexual disaster energy

sharon: oh no! the printer messed up the invitation! it’s supposed to say “bucky’s birthday!” sam: well what does it say? sharon: bucky’s bi sam: that could still work

bucky: *aggressively blows out birthday candles* sam: what did you wish for? bucky: i wished that you would leave

bucky: new year, new me *watching all the chaos unfold around his life* bucky: new year, same shit

sam: new year, same me! i’m perfect

sam: i’m... i’m at a loss for words! bucky, narrating: despite being at a loss for words, sam yelled at me for the next 45 minutes

sam: what should i be for halloween? bucky: my boyfriend sam: yeah that’s pretty scary

sarah: uh, why did you two dress up as each other for halloween? sam: he’s the scariest thing i could think of bucky: sam said i should pick the dumbest costume possible

sam: wow, great work on the halloween decorations. where did you get the fake skeletons? bucky: fake?

bucky: don’t worry, i’ve got a few knives up my sleeve sharon: i think you mean cards sam: he did not bucky, pulling out knives: i did not

sam: what did you do? i said distract them, not knock them out! bucky: there’s just no pleasing you sometimes

sam: what the hell is wrong with you? bucky: i have this weird self-esteem issue where i hate myself but still think i’m better than everyone else

sam: [fixing his boat] hey bucky, can you come give me a hand? bucky: [throws his vibranium arm] sam: that’s very funny, buck. now come and help me!

bucky: [comes home with a new haircut] is it bad? sam: before i answer that question, do you currently have a knife on you? bucky: yeah several sam: then i love it!

bucky: in my defense, i was left unsupervised sam: wasn’t steve with you? steve: in my defense, i was also left unsupervised

bucky: damn, i fucked up again sam, narrating: he said, with surprise in his voice, for some reason

sam: bucky! i can’t believe you would do something this stupid! bucky: sam. i think we all believe i could do something this stupid

bucky: dear santa, i’ve been good this year. bucky: most of the year. bucky: once in awhile. bucky: nevermind, i’ll buy my own stuff.

sam: you know, not every problem can be solved with a knife bucky: that’s why i carry two knives

sam: you know when i first met you i thought you were a real bitch bucky: what changed your mind? sam: oh i still think you’re a bitch. i’ve just grown to like that about you