I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.
The Drones Club
Joined December 2015
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Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had crept a look of furtive shame, the shifty hangdog look which announces that an Englishman is about to speak French.
When you have just been told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.
He committed mayhem upon his person. He did everything to him that a man can do who is hampered with boxing gloves.
It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.
He committed mayhem upon his person. He did everything to him that a man can do who is hampered with boxing gloves.
As is so often the case with butlers, there was a good deal of Beach. Julius Caesar, who liked to have men about him who were fat, would have taken to him at once. He was a man who had made two chins grow where only one had been before, and his waistcoat swelled like the sail of a racing yacht.
He trusted neither of them as far as he could spit, and he was a poor spitter, lacking both distance and control.
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
He looked, as always, as if he had been carved from some durable form of wood by someone who was taking a correspondence course in sculpture and had just reached his third lesson.
If she ever turned into a werewolf, it would be one of those jolly breezy werewolves whom it is a pleasure to know.
Wodehouse Tweets retweeted
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.
He was not a man who prattled readily, especially in a foreign tongue. He gave the impression that each word was excavated from his interior by some up-to-date process of mining.
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.
Wodehouse Tweets retweeted
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
Wodehouse Tweets retweeted
As a rule, you see, I'm not lugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across primeval swamps and Uncle James's letter about Cousin Mabel's peculiar behaviour is being shot round the family circle ('Please read this carefully and send it on Jane') the clan has a tendency to ignore me. It's one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor - and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
As a rule, you see, I'm not lugged into Family Rows. On the occasions when Aunt is calling Aunt like mastodons bellowing across primeval swamps and Uncle James's letter about Cousin Mabel's peculiar behaviour is being shot round the family circle ('Please read this carefully and send it on Jane') the clan has a tendency to ignore me. It's one of the advantages I get from being a bachelor - and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
Wodehouse Tweets retweeted
A certain critic—for such men, I regret to say, do exist—made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained ‘all the old Wodehouse characters under different names’. He has probably now been eaten by bears, like the children who made mock of the prophet Elisha: but if he still survives he will not be able to make a similar charge against Summer Lightning. With my superior intelligence, I have outgeneralled this man by putting in all the old Wodehouse characters under the same names. Pretty silly it will make him feel, I rather fancy.