Jackie Risser

Im flipping out xitter.gq/embryethan/status/8512…

wait what? im beyond flattered.

if i could be anyone at the #oscars, it'd definitely be #jeffbridges

Exactly, @twitter.

um @nbc and @goldenglobes you are both the fucking worst. have tried every damn way to watch and you've made it more than impossible.

best compliment ever: "seeing the copy you write makes me realize how bad of a #copywriter i was. glad i never pursued that path." #aww

is @instagram's stupid non-chronological newsfeed fucking with anyone else's emotions this am?

#tombrokaw's face gives me as much anxiety as #election2016

Just saw #quinnperkins on #election day. Good omen, right? cc @KatieQLowes

"my gawd i hope #Hillary wins" -old man "my gawd i never seen people vote like this" -old man's wife

really happy for #thomasiannicholas and his big win last night. #rookieoftheyear. #cubs.

is #sterlingkbrown good in everything? i just have to know.

#maryjblige on #howtogetawaywithmurder. ok.

dear @jordanklepper, is it creepy to walk behind you while fangirling out? probably. #sorrynotsorry. #enjoytheburg.

"foreign hotspots" is a porno right

did trump just call chris "trish?"

#digginghisowngrave.

trump.

trump = #chrisklein in election.

what happens to all those notes the candidates take at debates? eBay?