@johnsemley3000

writer, researcher, ultimate nfl insider. full of deep sympathy, modified by contempt. follow @slowlearnerspod same handle on b-sky.

 PHL
johnsemley.com/
Joined October 2010
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3.4KMedia
fewer americans are paying for open casket funerals. what does this bode for the craft of necrotic beautification known as "restorative art"? for the new issue of @Harpers, i met with morticians to trace the history, and future, of their dying art. harpers.org/archive/2026/08/…

A Dying Art, by John Semley

The last of the morticians

harpers.org
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I don’t think I’ve seen the Cowboys win in Philly since moving here. it sucks! and looks like shit!
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Brad Bradford retooling, adding a third or fourth Brad to his name.
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Happy anniversary to The Times They Are a-Changin', the truly cursed Bob Dylan Broadway musical that opened on this date in 2006 (and closed a couple weeks later). For "Like a Rolling Stone," they had the whole cast—wait for it—roll around on stones.
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Joe Buck talking about the Eastern State Penitentiary haunted house on Monday Night Football… 🥺
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Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent
@SecScottBessent15h
.@BarackObama I recommend the Cheeseburger Spring Rolls.
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GO BIRDS FOREVER AND A DAY DONT GET IT TWISTED
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Beatles on Ed Sullivan.
powerful wizerd@powerfulwizerd13h
I’ve asked this before but is there any historical event that is like the Opposite of 9/11. Like something so good that happened that it changed the world forever
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are you a teacher who is administering oral exams to students in order to prevent AI-related cheating? would love to chat with you, for The Guardian.
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trump loyalists force-feeding themselves a meal at cheesecake factory to prove some inane "point."
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i wanna sit by this idiot eating at Cheesecake Factory and just coo "take a bite....take a big, bigger bite..." like Vincent Gallo in BUFFALO 66.
johnny maga
@johnnymaga16h
Bessent cooks Obama after dining at the Cheesecake Factory: "This is the man who built the museum that looks like Darth Vader’s tomb... I had a great meal, and I would tell the Martha's Vineyard set to give it a try." 😭
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this reminds me of seeing Bob and David at Just For Laughs, around 2007. they just came on stage in one piece unitards, dancing jerkily with huge balloons, affronting the whole french-canadian entertainment complex.
Him Tiedecker
@tiedeckerOct 25
Nathan Fielder stuns as Cirque de Stan
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A lovely tribute to the late Eric Bauza by @WillSloanEsq in @TheGrindTO. thegrindmag.ca/an-ode-to-eri…

An Ode to Eric Bauza, Scarborough’s Gifted Keeper of the Looney Tunes Flame

Bauza, who died at the age of 46, was the main voice actor for Looney Tunes films and television series. His deep reverence for the source material and relentless advocacy in the face of uncaring…

thegrindmag.ca
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finally the world will learn who is he greatest NFL wide receiver: ceedee lamb, or...makai lemon.
NFL
@NFL20h
A primetime NFC East rivalry 😤 DALvsPHI – 8:15pm ET on ESPN Stream on @NFLPlus
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i must say that reporting on the history of Pulsations nightclub and its dancing robot, Pulsar, has been the most rewarding piece of journalism i've ever committed myself to. just interviewed a guy who got laid ON the robot! feature forthcoming soon....
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yeah hard to think of any recent historical examples where a right-wing candidate upset all the odds to defeat a candidate—or trump them, if you will.
libertarian in Los Angeles@LA_libertarian1Oct 26
Has anyone ever seen a Right-wing candidate come from behind to win an election, ever? Cause I've seen leftists do it like 50 times...
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I should have profited from You Can See Everything.
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very funny sequence: >"Making fun of Cheesecake Factory is for Cosmopolitan Globalist Snobs" >"Saddam Hussein + Cheesecake Factory joke is orientalist" >"Cheesecake Factory itself was founded by white cosmopolitan Sufi larpers and its design has orientalist elements"
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I don’t think owners should be in the sports halls of fame. maybe the money hall of fame, but that’s just having the most money, which should be reward (money) enough.
Eliot Shorr-Parks
@EliotShorrParks20h
Jeffery Lurie with a statement tonight ahead of his Hall of Fame induction ceremony that will take place at halftime:
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amazing description.
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john retweeted
Whitey@Whitey_83Oct 25
Got scared at the pumpkin patch
Oilfield Rando
@Oilfield_RandoOct 25
Went to a pumpkin patch in a bigger town. 200 million deportations. Minimum.
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