Retweet and share the laughter 🔁 Some jokes may offend ✉️ [email protected]
Joined November 2015
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Jokes UK 🔞 retweeted
I walked in on my sister last night masturbating with a carrot. Can you believe that?
I was going to eat that later but now it'll just taste like carrots!
Jokes UK 🔞 retweeted
My wife says I'm tight, so to prove her wrong I'm taking her out for tea and biscuits today...
It should be quite exciting as she has never given blood before!
Jokes UK 🔞 retweeted
I was fucking my wife last night and she looked back and said, "I'm feeling kinky! Turn off the light and stick it in my arse!"
As soon as I did, she screamed...
I guess maybe next time I should wait for the bulb to cool down first!
I walked in on my sister last night masturbating with a carrot. Can you believe that?
I was going to eat that later but now it'll just taste like carrots!
My wife says I'm tight, so to prove her wrong I'm taking her out for tea and biscuits today...
It should be quite exciting as she has never given blood before!
I was fucking my wife last night and she looked back and said, "I'm feeling kinky! Turn off the light and stick it in my arse!"
As soon as I did, she screamed...
I guess maybe next time I should wait for the bulb to cool down first!
Jokes UK 🔞 retweeted
🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨
Storm Boelo has hit Blackpool and caused an estimated £100m worth of improvements!
Jokes UK 🔞 retweeted
🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨
Michael Carrick has been sacked as manager of Manchester United after a 3-0 loss to Bournemouth...
Sorry, just praticing for an hours time! 😂
Jokes UK 🔞 retweeted
Manchester United's first away game in the Championship at Plymouth Argyle next season…
Jokes UK 🔞 retweeted
The Man Utd team visited a children's hospital in Manchester today.
"It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Ben, aged six.
🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨
Storm Boelo has hit Blackpool and caused an estimated £100m worth of improvements!
