Onchain
Joined March 2009
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If you’re building something in crypto and it hasn’t been called a scam yet, keep grinding, you’ll get there.
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So basically, today PHP got two critical bugs that let anyone run code on your server without even logging in, which is bad, and then the details leaked before the patch was even out, which is worse, and it works on WordPress and MediaWiki and Magento and Joomla and Laravel, and Censys says like 1.5 million servers are running a version with no fix, so the NSA was like "take your system offline," and the FBI was like "take your system offline," and CISA and the UK and CERT-EU were all like "take your system offline," and then the Prime Minister of Japan, the actual Prime Minister, posted at 5:55 in the morning telling 48.8 million people to take their system offline, so everyone took their system offline, like the Dutch cybersecurity agency took its own website offline, and the Dutch parliament went offline, and the Port of Rotterdam went offline, and Finland and France and Denmark started pulling government sites, and Wikipedia went down, and Archive.org went down, and Asana and GOG and Something Awful went down, and the University of Vienna's webmail went down for some reason, and that's just PHP. Because GitLab also dropped a CVSS 10.0, which is the highest score they give out, for a bug that's been there since 2014, so that's every self-hosted GitLab for twelve years, and then LiteLLM 1.107.0 got hijacked and shipped a credential stealer and a remote access trojan in every single wheel and the Docker images, including latest, and you didn't even have to import it, just installing it was enough, and it's the second time this year, and then Railway paused every deployment on the entire platform because someone got into the environment variables, so now everyone has to rotate every secret they've ever stored there, and TiDB Cloud said someone was walking around inside with stolen credentials for basically a month and an extortion group says they took 10.6 terabytes, and Zeabur got breached for the second time in two months and is just shutting down, like the whole company, and Node.js patched remote code execution and a TLS bypass, and CISA says Plex is being actively exploited, and someone took over 300 Tor exit relays to steal SSH passwords, and SafePay ransomware has hit over 600 critical infrastructure orgs, and India's biggest bank filed a data loss incident, and Japan has been in an official state of emergency in cyberspace since October 9, which honestly explains the 5:55 AM post. Oh, and eMudhra, a certificate authority that's issued over 60 million certificates, whose entire job is proving websites are who they say they are, was supposed to be using private keys that are random numbers over a hundred digits long, and one of them was 4. Just 4. And the others were like 66 and 237. Anyway, it's Wednesday.
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this is a crime against punks.
Replying to @NEARProtocol
The jury includes AI judges and leaders across ecosystems. @ilblackdragon (NEAR), @Mert (Helius), @eddylazzarin (a16z crypto), @avichal (Electric Capital), @kain (Synthetix & Infinex), @hosseeb (Dragonfly),  @cyntro_py (cyber Fund).
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The jury includes AI judges and leaders across ecosystems. @ilblackdragon (NEAR), @Mert (Helius), @eddylazzarin (a16z crypto), @avichal (Electric Capital), @kain (Synthetix & Infinex), @hosseeb (Dragonfly),  @cyntro_py (cyber Fund).
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“The Simpsons” was a beloved animated sitcom that ran for ten legendary seasons and concluded in 1999. The show was celebrated for what was widely perceived as a near perfect run that wrapped before it wore out its concept and overstayed its welcome. Creator Matt Groening and showrunner James L. Brooks famously decided to bring the show to a conclusion after experiencing the negative audience reaction to the season 9 episode “The Principal and the Pauper,” in which it was revealed that the school’s principal was actually an impostor who had stolen the real Seymour Skinner’s identity. Brooks did not want to sully the show’s legacy by doing a bunch of weird episodes as the franchise slid into mediocrity and cultural irrelevance, so the writers and cast decided instead to go out on top and end things on a high note. However, because of its centrality in 90s pop culture, a long-running Internet joke is to pretend “The Simpsons” is still on the air, a premise that gets more absurd and deranged with each passing year. If this show were still producing new episodes, it would be in its 38th season now, and most of the voice cast would be in their 80s. The joke is to imagine how distorted this charming show would have become if it had been stretched out to more than 800 episodes. Comedy posters on “weird Twitter” used to try to top each other by making up terrible ideas for what modern episodes of the show might be like. For example, a viral 2012 tweet imagined an episode where Lady Gaga helps Lisa Simpson with her self esteem. In 2019, popular shitposter Megan Amram originated the premise of Bart Simpson becoming a men’s rights activist to protest a gender-swapped reboot of “Itchy and Scratchy.” But perhaps the most elaborate Internet “Simpsons” joke was a 2017 YouTube mockumentary “The Problem With Apu,” in which the comedian Hari Kondabolu ironically pretended to be offended by the charming and innocuous convenience store owner character Apu. Everyone thought this was hilarious, especially since the show had been off the air for nearly two decades when the mockumentary was released. So, Twitter ran with the joke by pretending to “cancel” Apu, and the viral gag memorably resulted in the character’s voice actor, Hank Azaria, recognizing the meme by promising never to perform the character again, which everybody thought was really funny since Azaria had been retired for years. Now, nearly a decade later, fans are pretending that the show — which has now been off the air longer than most people tweeting about it have been alive— has brought back the “cancelled” character with a new racially-appropriate voice actor. I actually don’t think this is that funny, and I kind of think the gag of pretending “The Simpsons” is still airing new episodes has overstayed its welcome, a mistake the actual show “The Simpsons” would never have made. If you haven’t seen this 1990s classic, which — and I cannot emphasize this enough — ended after 10 seasons in 1999, you can watch all the episodes on Disney+ (except the one with Michael Jackson that got pulled from streaming).
Apu has returned to The Simpsons. The character got a speaking appearance tonight for the first time in almost a decade, with Sunil Malhotra taking over the role.
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I don’t know who needs to hear this, and I’ll preface this by saying Kalshi did not sponsor this post, but Shayne Coplan is the devil. And I don’t mean like he’s a bad guy, I mean he’s the literal biblical devil. I even saw his horns one day.
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to anyone who messaged me saying, they too knew Shayne was actually Beelzebub the price of darkness, you have a few minutes to delete the message before i realise you are retarded.
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prince* fml
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Good opportunity to test your skills.
NEAR HACKATHON is now live with $250K+ in prizes. No signup. Just ship a public repo + public demo post between November 1st & Nov 14, 23:59 UTC. Build on NEAR Intents, chain signatures, chain abstraction, NEAR AI Cloud, & more. Full details:
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EXCLUSIVE: AI Agents Are Coming For Onchain Trading @kain @infinex @robbieklages @andyyy Timestamps: 00:00 Intro 02:14 Agent Strategies Lost Money 04:47 Market Structure For Agents 07:09 Fable Orchestrator Setup 09:11 Chain Proliferation Miss 11:52 Built-In Telegram Client 13:26 Kain's Portfolio ETH NEAR Hype Zcash 16:50 Debt Pool Hedging Lessons
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Replying to @visegrad24
pretty frustrating bc the store owner could simply have adequately funded the public schools, and none of this would be happening
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This morning when I woke up, I thought it was 7:30am, so when I took off my eye mask, I was surprised to find it was only 4:30am. But I felt awake. Not only that, I felt ENERGIZED. I have not felt anything upon waking other than utter exhaustion for at least a decade, but probably more like 16 years. Last week, I did Function Health Labs, which are super comprehensive. I started getting results back Saturday, fed them to a private AI, and it was freaking out about how I have no energy. YOU GUYS -- I'm a carnivore and I am ANEMIC. I have eaten red meat 🥩🥩🥩 for 99.99% of my meals for the last two and a half years, and I'm ANEMIC -- wth ferritin stores above 240! (This is so high, it was marked as dangerously high on Function Health.) It diagnosed me with anemia of chronic inflammation, which I hadn't heard of before, but it explained to me a question I had meant to ask a doctor -- why one iron marker was low when another was high and I was eating so much red meat -- but that doctor missed it because she preferred to spend our appointment time lecturing me about how I needed to eat greens even though I told her that eating this way was making me feel BETTER 🙄. (Pro tip if you're a doctor: if a patient who has been incredibly sick for over a decade tells you something they are doing is making them feel better, BE A HUMAN AND BE EXCITED FOR THEM and don't be a fucking idiot and tell them to go back to eating the way that made them feel worse.) I spent all weekend talking with the AI about my lab results, and it told me which supplements to take, including a few I already had on hand that it said would help. The main one it said I needed I had to order, and it will arrive next week, so I haven't even been able to take the most important one yet. DESPITE THAT, just taking the one I had lying around for the last seven days allowed me to FEEL ENERGY UPON WAKING!!!! Is this what it feels like to be a normal human?!?!?! Feeling energy upon waking made me want to cry. I feel so gypped!!!! I can't believe I'm only 7 days into what I need to do to get over this, and I am not exhausted and fighting to get through the day 😭 If I weren't so fucking excited, I think I'd be crying, but seriously, WTF. Western medical doctors and the healthcare system are so fucked. Yay for comprehensive labs and AI!!!
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Moonrock is actively investing in the best early stage founders building the future of frontier finance and the agentic economy. and tbh in almost a decade in crypto, I've never seen a better window to build than right now. to all founders out there who've been waiting for the right moment to go all in, this is it. so if you believe no one is more passionate or better positioned to bring your idea to life than you, DM me. beyond just capital, we roll up our sleeves and work alongside you like a true partner to build this into something generational, together. what are you waiting for?
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Infinex wallet is, by far, the best wallet on the market not even close Self-custody/onchain has felt risky for years, which is when I started using Infinex. I don't feel any of that now. Among many reasons, not being tied to any one device is a huge upgrade
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Lmao hype crew somehow finding a way to be offended by this 🤣. It was a general comment about ALL cash flow generating tokens, using hype as an example of a token that would be even more investable with clarity. Chill lads.
🔥 LONGITUDE: Hyperliquid may be a successful onchain business, but its token still presents challenges for institutional investors. “The HYPE token has no investor protections,” @infinex founder Kain Warwick (@kain) said, contrasting token ownership with the legal rights attached to traditional equities.
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kain retweeted
Kain Warwick says Infinex is shifting from supporting 25 chains to four that users actually care about, aiming to build the best trading app “We invested so much time in having this, 25-chain abstracted... And, these EVM chains are not equivalent, there’s a lot of work to make them seamlessly, function together.” “So that was probably one of the misses. And so we said, ‘You know what? Let’s pare it back to the four chains that people give a sh*t about.’” “Let’s make a pure trading app. No distractions, because we had a very good cross-chain experience, but not as good a same-chain experience.” “And so it wasn’t as good for meme coins. Great for Zcash... sure, but you want to pump PONS on Robinhood, and it was slow and clunky, whatever.” “So we’ve said, ‘Alright, strip everything back, take everything that we learned, put a native mobile app that’s a pure trading app with, spot trading, perp trading, prediction markets, and maybe options as well and make it the best app to trade on.”
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All of this concern about cryptography is going to look very quaint in a year when agents invent teleportation.
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Very excited for this!
Presenting the official trailer for THE MAX EXTRACTOR
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