Wrote it.

Ontario, Canada
Joined October 2019
By the way, if you are 10 years old and your parents have a combined age of 100, have them play 1v1 in @RocketLeague. Hilarious and sad at the same time.
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I really need fast food order app developers to back off on adding features that cause the app to fail in its basic functions. @mcdonaldscanada I’m looking at you.
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What are the odds?
JUST IN: Wheel from United jet flying over NJ Turnpike on approach to Newark crashes through bakery truck window.
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Every holiday Facebook group post in my town: One person asks “Are any grocery stores open today?” 6 people confidently give wrong answers. 4 say “Google it.” 8 attack with things like “couldn’t you have thought of this yesterday?” 4 defend OP. 2 give helpful answers.
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Has there ever been a more brilliantly unhinged casting decision than Kathy Bates as Mama in The Waterboy?
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The latest iPhone update has ruined my @nytimes #connections experience. I can no longer see the top of the puzzle to see if my guess is one away. Any fix for this? Today’s fail as a result: Connections Puzzle #924 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟪🟦🟦🟦 🟪🟦🟦🟦 🟪🟦🟪🟦 🟪🟪🟦🟦
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We don’t talk about these people enough. I need to know about their other Halloween costumes. Did they go as @JustinTrudeau and @katyperry in 2021?
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You thought the meme was Zach Galifianakis, but this Canadian Gen-Xer thought it was from Swiss Family Robinson.
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I don’t think we talk enough about what a great product @GooGoneBrand is. It is probably not officially recommended for getting tree sap out of hair, but it works, thank goodness!
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One of these is a marshmallow and two of them are slime (@Elmers, baking soda, contact lens solution).
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Exciting news! My son has announced that he’s a fan of Weird Al @alyankovic. He thinks his name is Weird A.I. so I need to work on that part, but still, this is the moment every nerd parent dreams of.
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Someone at the #Tillsonburg Santa Claus parade gave out American Smarties!
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Arrived at my Service Ontario Staples appt and was immediately handed a $5 off coupon and encouraged to shop. This is gross. @RichardCityNews
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I think this means my brain is broken. Connections Puzzle #307 🟪🟪🟪🟪 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨🟨🟨🟨
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When you say a 4 syllable word, do you repeat it to the tune of Amadeus by Falco? Example: melatonin melatonin. Melatonin melatonin melatonin. Melatonin melatonin melatonin. Oh oh oh melatonin. Just me?
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7: do you know this song? (Proceeds to sing “a spoonful of sugar.) Me: yes it’s from a movie called “Mary Poppins.” It’s an old movie. 7: yes very old. It’s from the 1900s.
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Yes, absolutely on #TeamBalconyMan RT if you are too!
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I think @StoveTop is the product with the most mystery surrounding where it will be located in the grocery store. Will it be with the side dishes? The gravy? Bread? Croutons? No one knows - begin your quest!
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Seriously, every @numberblocks song is a banger! How do you do it?
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In case you’re wondering how Facebook mom groups are doing, one mom was worried that her almost 4 year old is not writing much yet, and another mom commented, “The first thing I’d do is remove artificial dyes from his diet.”
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