DIGITAL RECOVERY ASSETS

Being a dad is peak masculinity.

“I’m tired of living through historical events,” he said from his air-conditioned home with high-speed internet and next-day delivery via Amazon Prime.

Democrats = Increase the deficit! Republicans = Increase the deficit! Americans = Stop increasing the deficit!

BREAKING: U.S. payrolls increased more than expected as Soham Parekh was hired 147,000 times

Me: This is a hard escape room. Wife: You’re at home.

I just interviewed this guy from India named Soham Parekh. Honestly, it was one of the most impressive resumes I’ve seen in a long time. His multitasking skills are next level. I’m going to give him an offer today.

Gold is physical bitcoin.

How the hell did ancient Egyptians build the Pyramids without Microsoft Teams?

Remember when our parents got mad and said, “I’ll give you something to cry about!” We thought they were going to hit us, but they made housing unaffordable instead.

I no longer hate Mondays! I’ve matured. Instead, I hate the whole workweek.

The people who say kids shouldn’t play video games are the same people who always lost playing video games as a kid.

Active Investing = “After buying and selling more than 100 different stocks, I have returned 5% this year.” Passive Investing = “After buying the S&P 500, I have returned 5% this year.”

If I was elected mayor of New York City, I would make everyone a billionaire. That should teach those socialists a lesson.

It costs $0 to be kind to someone. This is financial advice.

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we we’re born and only stops when you’re trading crypto.

A recession, but it identifies as a bull market.

I wish I had enough money to find out it doesn’t make me happy.

If the threat of WW3 takes the market to all-time highs, I can only imagine what the threat of WW4 will do.

Bank: Are there any other assets we can consider to get you approved for a mortgage? Customer: Well, we do own some Fartcoin. Bank: Why didn't you say so. You're approved!