mack attack

Me and my adderall are about to buckle in for a long week of creating magic for Halloween and a third birthday in back to back weekends while working full time, the goals are lofty, the effort and will is questionable

Is excessive perfume coming back?? Because my nostrils are not here for this

I am an overwhelm

It’s been interesting to watch the shift in my relationship with my dad now that my mom is in a home and he doesn’t have to be a full time caregiver

Reasons I’ll be late these days: my toddler, who is not potty trained, will demand to use the potty so she can play with bubbles and never be done 🫠🫠

Things I wasn’t expecting when sending my child to the cheap daycare: she can say amarillo, along with all the other Spanish colors correctly and with confidence at 2.5 yo

4 am PPA thoughts: My baby is trying to sleep through the night, but I just pumped, what if she wakes up? Will I have enough milk? Will she feed every fucking hour tomorrow in response to 10 hours of no food? Am I making enough milk? Is that why she’s hungry all the time? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Me: trying to settle the FOMO baby with the hiccups who won’t stop whimpering My 85 pound dog: would you prefer I lick my crotch with gusto, demand to go out complete with pittie stomps and whines, or put all of my weight on my front paws on your thighs?! All 3? Got it!

I was not prepared for how little control toddlers have/care to have over their limbs

The vet: your dog seems depressed Me: well yea she’s 13, you keep making me shove meds down her throat and she has a toddler and a newborn she didn’t ask for; she wants the sweet release of death, not another staycation in your cage

I’m more like Friday Jesus than Sunday Jesus, trying to navigate parenting a spirited toddler and feeding a newborn every 1-2 hours 💀

You do not get to complain in the Starbucks line when you order 4 Frappuccinos before 0630; you’re the problem.

Ppl be all 2016 this and that but no one is acknowledging that my venti iced coffee only cost like $3 then and now sets me back over $5

In the year 2026 we should not be paying at the drive thru pharmacy with COINS, like that’s bad juju on your heart failure Debra

Sometimes I make myself 8 am appointments across town and literally no pressure of working in healthcare is as bad as rush hour traffic

My toddler is WIDE OPEN, and then I watch all the videos about how wild second borns are; and like why is one supposed to do with two wild girls? Can she get wilder? Like my brother was the better of us, and he’s the second, I have concerns

As a kid I never understood why parents got up at the crack of dawn, but as a parent I get that that was their 20 min of peace

Me before today: I’m gonna do x, y, and z tomorrow Me after 13 things have gone wrong and toddler snot is trying to take me out: I’m gonna do x cuz it’s necessary the rest is gods plan

Me: certainly going through baby clothes and sorting them won’t take long Also me: 3 hours into it, a mess in front of me, minimal progress

The highlight of my life right now is when we leave the beach and my 22 mo goes “bye waves”