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Goodnight everyone. I love you all

Everyone wants to be their own master but do you have what it takes to be your own slave

¿Qué lo que, papi?

I used to tweet hella gay shit cause I thought it was funny and then some guy added me to a groupchat on here that was just 6 different gay dudes all sexting at once

Sending women dick pics where I've dressed my penis up to look like various commedia dell'arte characters

everyone on here dick rides pynchon so hard and then you read him and he's doing like family guy cutaway gags in the middle of a sentence

I hope she comes back into politics and this whole time she just been training doing hella ab workouts and she walks on stage in an unzipped nike tech and sports bra and uses her abs to crush a can of diet coke

As part of my parole I'm not allowed to post anymore

My soul is immense and my spirit is violent

If I was a girl I would be evil asf man. I would be saying shit like its Nietzschean to cheat on your boyfriend

I've only ever met one norse pagan and he was a vinyl floor installer who made probably and this is being generous 29k a year

Walk in the gas station spend like a 100 dollars. Yall aint got it like me

First date ideas : I show up drenched in sweat from dope withdrawals. I make you pay. I see my own reflection and break down in tears at what I've become. Maybe ice cream.

They should invent food you can make yourself

Someone just shot me directly in the head from point blank range

Anyone else imagine a grandma with big ass titties giving you a hug every time you eat a granny smith or just me?

can we please have a good day today?

No call no showed my job as a heart surgeon again.

Going to my highschool reunion and telling everyone I'm dying of aids for attention