Pinned Tweet
My favorite form of female communication is screaming at each other in excited agreement.
kw2e retweeted
I don’t know “a lot” about women, but I think “hey, ladies, how about I equate control of your own body to regulations on inanimate objects I’d like to own” is maybe part of the problem with your *modest proposal* here?
Our dog INSISTS on meeting any dog interested in also saying hello. I tell people:
"She's running for office, so she's gotta meet pups and sniff butts."
Nobody has laughed so far 😐.
Day 31 of driving around the US together non-stop:
Me: is there another car or bus or something you could ride in today?
Matt: i wish
One year ago today I learned that the "little piggy who went to market" was not going grocery shopping.
Me: if someone told you I was arrested without any additional info, what would you assume-
Matt: you punched someone
Me: yea
My dog was so upset some campsite dogs she wanted to be friends with were mean to her that on her evening potty walk she went directly to their site with apparent intentions to poop on the edge of their campground but only had gas left so she just farted all over their driveway.
You should definitely reconsider what you're doing when free-range mountain cows look at what you're doing and seem concerned.
Me: that could be a great photo of the train in the mountains at night if that light wasn't so bright.
Matt: the Moon?
Me: it's really bright.
People who post videos of themselves easily trimming their dog or cat's nails are probably also rampant name-droppers and humble-braggers in the human world.
What is happening in the #roadrunning community so that when we meet new trail runners they are consistently startled by the positivity and happy energy of #trailrunning
When you steal all the bed covers and then wake up in the middle of the night really god-damned fucking hot and notice your partner sleeping without covers and get jealous about how cool they must feel.
Me: there's been some fireworks so we need calming background music for the dogs.
Matt: that was a one-off. we're fine.
Me: there was already more than one.
Matt: it was a multiple one-off.
Discovered a secret spot in the fridge where avocados don't age. We're calling it the Avocado Pocket.
kw2e retweeted
I honestly think Gorsuch deserves a lot of credit for his righteous defense of Indian Tribal Sovereignty. He's the best justice, maybe in history, on this issue.
I just wish, so deeply, that he thought women and black people deserved the same respect.