Pinned Tweet
There's nothing funnier than a fully grown man carrying a rucksack. Got all your little things in there have you mate? Grow up
I'm not happy about this; just been sensationally BANNED from the local leisure centre for WEARING A POPPY and also I left a huge shite in the showers.
Everything ok babe? You've barely touched your tin of Temu Fray Bentos Cauliflower and Cheese flavour soup
Dan retweeted
it’s late in the evenin
she’s wonderin what clothes to wear
she puts on her make up
and brushes her long blonde hair
and then she asks me
do i look alright?
and i say where’s your fucking poppy
Dan retweeted
Could you tell the difference between the real ones and the Audi ones in a taste test? You Tube Gregg Wallace Way.
Dan retweeted
Cameo Messages - birthdays, engagements weddings or a promotion. Make somebody smile with a cameo message.
Dan retweeted
Stop putting fucking cranberry sauce in all the festive sandwiches, alright? It's disgusting. Won't tell you again.
The UK government have opened offices around the country to recruit and enlist thousands of people who are saying they like country music. This is horrible

















