Leah Grzych

*watching tv with @FrontButtt* Me: are you paying attention? Him: sorry, I was just drafting a tweet at @OreIdaPotatoes Me: 🤔

I don’t ever care to know what one serving of pasta looks like. I own a kitchen scale, and the one thing I will NEVER measure is a serving size of pasta. I would rather be ignorant. It would hurt too much.

Tell me why I am following the TikTok account of a lobster that just crushes random items with its claw…

After everything that has transpired over the last few days on our homeowners’ association’s email chain, I feel bad for any young hooligans who try to come and do donuts in our cul-de-sac!

Tonight @FrontButtt and I had to figure out how to re-light the pilot light on our gas hot water heater. Despite how excruciatingly boring this tweet is, I am proud to say we succeeded without blowing up the entire house.

Hey @DaRealJackDavis do you remember when @FrontButtt got kicked out of this bar in college? It looks a little different now but it is the same place @FrontButtt was asked to leave several times that night.

I am still conducting my research, but I suspect there is something in Bagel Bites that prevents hangovers.

I don’t often watch the VMAs, but I have gathered that if they let you sing as opposed to lip syncing, you’ve really made it.

I feel like a 50 year old dad tweeting this, but I am suddenly hip to Dua Lipa and I am all in.

Justin went to a meat market and came back with a 4ft long log of pepperoni. I have been rendered speechless(the bad kind).

When @FrontButtt shaves everything but the mustache:

If you need my during my only week off, you can find me laying on the couch sucking Pringle crumbs off my sweatshirt.