@luinalaska

J’s wife, mom of many, grandma of three, Alaskan island life, highly blessed and favored, Christ appreciator

 Alaska, USA
Joined October 2021
  • Tweets37.1K
  • Following4.7K
  • Followers33.7K
5.1KMedia
Don’t even leave this man a cardboard box to rest his head in at night. Let him stare up at the sky wailing like Job. Leave him so little to continue distracting him that he begins to understand his place again among us mere mortals. Two hits of ozempic and he forgot who he was.
𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐏 悪いバナー 👹𓋹
@Bad_Banner14h
You can tell right when Ethan Klein got his side-piece, he didn't care about Hila anymore. (Via KF user anon101x)
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Yes. This was me washing my clothes in a communal shower in Moscow. I know my story is bonkers so I’ll need to add pictures to every chapter for anyone to believe me.
Seth Tower Hurd@SethTowerHurd5h
Replying to @luinalaska
Is this all real???
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No I never was a lesbian, I just married one once. It remains a cosmic mystery of science how I have a useless womb and my ex-wife, who is about as maternal as a rusty sledgehammer, managed to carry a child.
Kathleen McKinley
@KatMcKinley4h
Replying to @luinalaska
Wait. You used to be a lesbian? Who had the child?
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I need a ghost writer that’ll listen to me talk about my life and just write stuff down with correct grammar and 50% less cussing. Please change government names to protect the innocent.
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So I was in Moscow and there was the bar with a wee midget who would come out dressed as a leprechaun once an hour to bang this gong to tell everyone the drink special was changing. This was before I got robbed. Write that down. Times were changing in Russia after the fall of the Soviet Union.
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I’ve never read a graphic novel but I think a cartoon version of me would be objectively funny.
sky
@valleyofthena6h
Replying to @luinalaska
Jesus Christ you need to write this book A graphic novel series woild be awesome
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All these haters saying Hila Klein isn’t objectively beautiful. I know you lie. You have two eyes capable of seeing she’s objectively stunning. Women can be such haters. She could cut my fat ass with her cheekbones. She looks good in a bucket hat. That shouldn’t even be possible.
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If I put on a bucket hat I’d look like uncle fester.
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THEY WEREN’T ALREADY DOING THAT?!
BRICS News
@BRICSinfo10h
JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Pentagon prepares every major US military base to survive 90 days without outside electricity, fuel, water, or supplies
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My computer I use for all my writing is currently soaking wet despite being inside my living room so I’d say *not so good*
beard salmon🌷كافر@mamawrench7h
Replying to @luinalaska
Hey girl how's the flood situation going?
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My memoir would be like: Chapter one: being raised Quaker with a horse named Sassy in a single wide and then having to bury your mom Chapter one and a half: growing up funny lookin and why it’s just not that big of a deal Chapter two: the time I went to high school in the Czech Republic at 15 by myself including the time I took a bus to Italy with the school choir for absolutely no reason because I surely can’t sing Chapter three: college in Russia Chapter four: the intense international love affair with the British chick Chapter five: being adopted as an adult by a south Asian woman who may or may not be the most powerful witch in the Navajo region and becoming a nurse in the New Mexico desert Chapter six: attending witch seminary and the cult of the gender neutral priestx Chapter seven: Alaska steals me from the lower 48 Chapter eight: marrying a really mean Korean lesbian and becoming a mom Chapter nine: Catholicism intensifies Chapter ten: working in the arctic Chapter eleven: marrying J, adopting all these kids Chapter twelve: that time I got paralyzed by a flu shot Chapter thirteen: owning a laundromat blues Chapter fourteen: becoming a grandma in your 30s is only for God’s favorites Chapter fifteen: destroying my lungs with lithium battery factory residue dirt in the NC mountains after hurricane helene Chapter sixteen: bringing my kids back to the villages up north to patch up some metaphysical adoption wounds Chapter seventeen: AI, hunting pedos, and other fun side quests
Mrs Odd Duck@MrsOddDuck8h
Replying to @luinalaska
Is this memoir actually written? Because dang, I need it in my life.
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I hope to contribute enough to this world that my very existence strikes fear in the heart of pedos. I would consider it the highest honor. 98% of my interest in emerging tech is how to destroy the lives of pedos.
beard salmon🌷كافر@mamawrench8h
Replying to @luinalaska
Public servant of the highest rank.
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Me in self funded AI classes: oh why am I here? No I don’t work in tech. No I’m not trying to land a fancy job. Listen so it was 1992…. I’m working on some comptia certs for fun. I’m not smart enough to build something to destroy perverts with. yet.
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There is something powerful about having zero motives outside of revenge. I don’t need money. I have no career goals. I’m not trying to sell anything. I don’t want credit. I literally just want to destroy pedos on the grounds that they are monsters. It’s my only motivating factor.
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If you make a living catching pedos you shouldn’t have to pay taxes to begin with.
beard salmon🌷كافر@mamawrench8h
Replying to @mamawrench
Like imagine saying that the guy who makes pedos live in terror is "the real villain" because he didn't file taxes a few times.
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If you aren’t loudly praying over your 17 year old son to not get drug resistant gonorrhea every single time he leaves the house on a weekend night are you even parenting? Low effort moms disgust me.
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By the way I am the first person people call when they are worried about catching downstairs business germs. I’m a loud pray-er but also a gentle friend. I’m like honey this is why God gave us antibiotics don’t be too hard on yourself. Unless you’re my son. In which case be meaner to yourself please this is outrageous.
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Lord gave me a tall good lookin’ 17 year old son to raise who is admired by people of the female persuasion. Me twice a day and three times on Sunday: JESUS PLEASE WATCH OVER OUR BOY DO NOT GET ANYONE PREGNANT TODAY My son: MOM I AM NOT RUINING MY LIFE TODAY STOP IT
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His dad: it won’t ruin your life it just means now you got a WIFE and she lives with US FOREVER WITH YOUR BABY YOU HAVE WITH A WIFE
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Ain’t no babies walking around with my son’s dna that don’t have his last name on my watch I know that much you see your married brother take notes son Yall I’m so stressed he’s out late with girls. Jeeessuuuusssss.
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