@mattruby

Comedian. New special BOLO out on YouTube now. Also: Writer of the Rubesletter and Funny How newsletters. Link below... 👇

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mattruby.substack.com/
Joined June 2008
  • Tweets45.9K
  • Following1.3K
  • Followers4.1K
9.8KMedia
MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyOct 23
Replying to @cspan @VivekGRamaswamy
@cspan @VivekGRamaswamy
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MATT RUBY retweeted
yiqing@rhaenyrastokerOct 19
since everyone is sharing their fav nathan bit mine is him doing the asian accent. kills me every single time
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyOct 14
Replying to @tommyhawkins
Imagining being a member of the Kelly Clarkson army sending a death threat to that magic shop with a note made of cut-out letters that reads, "Now I get what I want since you been BOMBED."
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyOct 12
Replying to @Variety
@Variety
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyOct 8
Replying to @marknorm
same same but different
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubySep 24
Replying to @hasanthehun
"I consider you a narcissistic woke scold deploying emancipatory language in order to center your immediate desires." -Me when my wife asks me to empty the dishwasher
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubySep 23
Replying to @Variety
Life hack: If you’re just going to drug and assault women anyway, you can save yourself the trouble of hitting yourself in the face with a hammer to attract them.
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubySep 22
Replying to @RyanHoliday
Hating the elites makes sense until you see the alternative.
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubySep 15
Replying to @PopBase
Most out of pocket opening act ever lol. As a comedian, I'll ask the headliner if it's okay to do crowdwork. Can't imagine the chutzpah it takes to just go onstage and cause an international incident on a show where NO ONE PAID TO SEE YOU.
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubySep 15
Replying to @RepJayapal
Robert Kraft taking on Macklemore is a real irresistible force vs. immovable object of suckitude.
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubySep 7
Replying to @OrevaZSN
@OrevaZSN
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubySep 3
Replying to @jkbjournalist @nytimes @TheAthletic @PabloTorre
I love basketball! * * Because it's the only place left where 1) real journalism occurs and 2) billionaires can be punished for behaving badly.
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MATT RUBY retweeted
Todd Spence
@Todd_SpenceSep 2
While filming the scene in THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW when Hank meets the Wu-Tang Clan, Jeffrey Tambor didn't want to meet the band beforehand but rather improv his dialogue so their reactions to Hank's character would be authentic 😂 such an underrated show
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyAug 31
Replying to @VCBrags
It was fun parodying Silicon Valley dorks until they became a full on parody of themselves.
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyAug 25
Replying to @TheWrap
I would like to normalize thinking both Mark Ruffalo and Larry Ellison are schmucks.
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyAug 22
Replying to @brianstelter @MarkRuffalo
Evil corporation humbly requests good faith interpretation for merger that will accelerate evildoing and increase profits because "understanding" 😜
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyAug 14
Replying to @OphiraE @ComedyCellarUSA
Body positivity went from Woke 1 to GLP-1.
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyAug 10
Replying to @DKThomp
My top priorities as a MAGA interior designer are the arch, reflecting pool, and ballroom. Make America Fabulous Again!
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyJul 28
Replying to @nytimes
All the 60 Minutes debating has Tonight Show Conan vs. Jay vibes because it's a bunch of folks arguing about who gets to play violin aboard a sinking ship.
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MATT RUBY retweeted
MATT RUBY@mattrubyJul 28
Replying to @AffordAnything
Shouldn't the people who hate Zohran *want* him to do these grocery stores. It's an awful idea, right? It's sure to fail, they claim. So let him do it. He'll have to own the colossal failure they predict. That seems great for 'em. And yet...
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