Michael Bick

and the left all went “stop those white boys!”

“Can I please do a bowl of chili and a sailor Jerry Mai Thai”

TCU couldn’t hit water if they fell out of a boat. Hard watch.

Just watched a guy do a full headcount / roll call. I love this city man

Number 8 on Texas should be publicly… do the math

Beer darts but make it involve a BB gun and a garage full of fellas

“Do you guys have Guinness on tap?” “Unfortunately we ran out yesterday” 😩😢

Tavern Double could cure me rn

Last Saturday of the year

Both AirPods in. Noise cancellation mode on. Spindrift and water by my side. Gas up the jet, I’m taking flight.

Cannot wait to sit on my couch all night and siphon NA’s to treaty oak

I’m two cups of coffee in. Those that know me know this won’t end well

Update : most frantic person I’ve ever seen on a plane. Sit still. You’re going to be fine.

Seated next to a N95 wearer on this flight #shrink

Bad news for my enemies, I woke up this morning.

Southwest turned our flight home from the bachelor trip into a damn fever dream from hell. We sat on the runway sweating like rotisserie pigs in a Taco Bell parking lot at high noon — hotter than a jalapeño’s armpit in Satan’s sauna. The air was so thick with hangovers and regret

Can someone explain to me how lavender is a flavor?

Let’s get on a scale #shrink