Let's #connect, 100% FB

Me: I need eight hours of sleep. Also me at midnight: reading about octopuses.

My scariest Halloween costume is a person who answers the phone.

My favorite neighbor is someone I’ve never talked to but would help move a couch.

I bought running shoes. Now I’m a person who owns running shoes.

If I text you first, I like you. If I call you, something is on fire.

Nobody noticed your bad hair day. They were busy hoping you didn’t notice theirs.

Spellcheck has seen me at my worst and never told anyone.

Hobby (n.): something I bought supplies for once.

Confidence is walking into a room like you already know where the bathroom is.

I’m stuck between “I should text them” and “they could also text me.”

The waiter said “enjoy your meal” and I said “you too.” We both had to live with it.

I turned on read receipts once. Now everyone knows exactly how long I avoid them.

I’m not shy. I’m just waiting to see if you’re weird too.

Me: I’m saving money. Also me: it was on sale, so technically I earned it.

I waved back at someone who was waving at the person behind me. I still think about it.

“We should get coffee sometime” is adult for “I like you from a safe distance.”

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I feel guilty in a calmer voice.

Be the energy you want to attract. Unless it’s Tuesday. Nobody’s attracting anything on Tuesday.

Good morning, let’s continue to connect. Who’s active?

Voice notes are just phone calls I’m allowed to ignore.