misshembe

About 6 months ago I published “If Boys could cry” it was pretty much my first published book. 6 months later, hundreds of copies have been sold, and the reviews have been consistent. This book is raw, relatable and honest… Available as an ebook on selar selar.com/7i66125756 Available in hard and soft formats on Amazon. a.co/d/0dae0U8j. This book unwraps toxic masculinity in a way you have never seen before.

Some years ago, trying to find my feet as a young lawyer, I attended an interview at an NGO. I didn't get the job, and I can barely remember anything about the recruitment process, but I remember one of the women who interviewed me. I sadly cannot remember her name. I remember that she was Muslim, wore a blue hijab and had a gold-coloured tooth. But, more importantly, I remember how she made me feel. She had this beautiful way of conducting the interview that I have never quite forgotten. She didn't make the room feel like a courtroom where I was being cross-examined and every imperfect answer was evidence of my incompetence. When I struggled to articulate a point, she didn't rush to the next question or make me feel I had said something foolish. She gave me room to think, listened attentively and asked follow-up questions that helped me express what I was trying to say. She acknowledged my contributions, encouraged me to elaborate when I had something interesting to offer and didn't make my relative inexperience feel like a professional deficiency, like at some point she actually clapped for me like a primary school teacher🥹🥹🥹. I remember feeling that she was genuinely interested in what I had to say, rather than simply waiting for an opportunity to establish what I didn't know. She managed to make an interview, an inherently evaluative exercise, feel like a conversation in which I was allowed to be intelligent, curious and still learning. I didn't get the job, but I left feeling considerably more confident about myself and my place in the profession. Years later, I still remember that woman, which tells me that her approach to interviewing was perhaps far more consequential than she realised. I think we underestimate the responsibility that comes with being in positions where other people are seeking our approval, expertise, opportunities or validation. You can be rigorous without being intimidating, assess someone's competence without making them feel inadequate and demonstrate your experience without weaponising it against someone who is still finding their feet. In a world where people are often waiting for an opportunity to demonstrate superiority, please, pour kindness. Especially when you have the upper hand. You never know how much courage someone had to summon just to show up in that room. I wish I could remember her name so I could tell her that a young lawyer she interviewed years ago still remembers her. Not because she gave me a job, but because she made me feel capable of getting one. Wherever she is, I hope life has been exceptionally kind to her.

Rich in life because I have had people spend their social capital, credibility and influence to create opportunities for me.

At some point, you will meet someone and you will think you have found love. I highly recommend you go outside and touch grass so you can come back to your senses🫢🫢

I refuse to subscribe to the idea that nobody is coming to save you. Some of the darkest moments of my life were interrupted by people who didn't even know how close I was to giving up. They called, they showed up, they offered help. They opened doors, they said the right things at the right time. They had no idea they were answering prayers. I believe in taking responsibility for your life, but I also believe in a God who sends people. Sometimes, your miracle will arrive in human form, and I will die on this hill.

People that have zero conversation skills are so obsessed with sending DMs!

I have entrusted my ambitions, my unanswered prayers, my disappointments, my future and every version of myself I am yet to become to God. I genuinely cannot think of any safer hands.

Let’s normalize cooking normal jollof rice. Jollof rice doesn’t have to smell like charcoal, you people are doing too much at this point.

Shebi na by force to marry????

As you Dey use filter, no forget your real face oh 😒😒😒

Please Repost

Today, 1st November, I thought to launch something I have been postponing for a while. Dear friends, Have you ever stumbled upon something so beautiful that you immediately wished you could get your hands on it? A gorgeous pair of glasses, an unusual decorative piece, the cutest figurine, lovely shoes or one of those little household finds that instantly makes life more beautiful? Well, I have always loved beautiful things, and I have decided to turn that love into something of my own. Introducing my new brand Ornamentals & Co. 🤎 I am creating a space where I can help you discover and source beautiful, interesting and thoughtfully selected finds for yourself, your home and your family. From home décor and household treasures to accessories, footwear and all those lovely little things you didn't know you needed, I want to make finding them easier and more exciting. I am just getting started, and I would absolutely love to have you be part of this journey. Please follow my Instagram page, share it with your friends and help me spread the word. Every follow, share and recommendation means a lot to me. Here's to discovering beautiful things together! Ornamentals & Co. Beautiful things. Exceptional taste. Please follow the link to join me on this phenomenal journey instagram.com/ornamentalsand…

As a Tiv girl, I rather lack vitamins than buy one orange for 100 naira

Benue things are always different 🫢😒

To the people who have their houses smelling amazing always. What are your hacks?

People who have no money have no business having children especially with people who have no money either, and I will die on this hill. You don't need to be wealthy to have children, but bringing children into a life of perpetual financial desperation is not an act of faith; it is a decision with consequences for people who had no say in it. Poverty robs children of more than just material comfort. It robs them of their childhood. They become little economists, managing their parents' anxieties, suppressing their needs and raising siblings they didn't give birth to. Then we praise them for being unusually mature. Sometimes, what we call a well-behaved, responsible child is just a child who has learnt that their needs are an inconvenience. Please, don't confuse your ability to reproduce with your capacity to parent. Let this nonsense end in 2026.

In a generation where everybody wants to be perceived as profound, savage, woke, intimidating and impossible to disrespect, don't underestimate the quiet advantage of being a genuinely decent human being. You don't have to surrender your dignity to be humble. But please don't let your ego become too expensive.

Some of you are so busy trying not to look desperate, available or ordinary that you have become so difficult to teach, difficult to work with and nearly impossible to recommend. There is a difference between having standards and having an unnecessarily difficult personality. Learn it.

Awww. Happy birthday Miracle baby ❤️❤️❤️ keep growing in the love of God. May God never let go of his grip on you 💕

One of the sleekest things about me is how extremely posh and extremely street wise I can be all at the same time… My English is so sleek and my pidgin is even sleeker 🫢🫢😂

This is funny as hell 😂😂😂😂😭