Ismonkey (@monkeydhazard) header
Ismonkey (@monkeydhazard) profile picture

égocentrique, rancunier, mégalomane, jaloux, condescendant, visionnaire et drôle #BlueCoOut @illmonkey9

Brooklyn, NY
Joined April 2022
2026 DUMP
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😂😂😂 la maladie mentale pour avaler le zgueg d’emegha et tt les ptits de stras comme ça
Tu va te relevé mon grand comme tu le fait a chaque fois
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Mais @AxelTorresRS me répétait que tout a changer a Chelsea mdr. Quand on a vu les 120m sur Rogers (Joe Shields) et que ça a justifié par Xabi fallait se poser des questions
Le mercato validé par le #YesMan Xabi Alonso a 400 millions cet été a encore une fois été très utile
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My issue with Alonso was he is unproven as a coach. In fact I called him a one-hit wonder in league that is no better than the championship. What I’m not going to do is blame him for saying these kids aren’t ready. Both Estevao and Quenda should be at Strasbourg.
🚨🇧🇷 Xabi Alonso on Estevão: “I understand his situation and he could be happier for sure, he wants to play…”. “I’m sure Estevão will have his moments, that’s my responsibility, we were quite forced with the subs in the end”.
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Merci
Et dire que on avait le choix entre Iraola et Xabi, toujours avec le mauvais côté de l'histoire nous. L'audace c'est la compo de Iraola hier. La boule au ventre c'est ce que Alonso fait depuis le début de saison, j'ai jamais vu un coach aussi peureux.
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On a eu 30 défenseurs diff depuis le debut de Clownlake c tjr leurs fautes puis on les change et c’est toujours leurs fautes quand meme. Pendant que le milieu est desert mais mehlich pointons du doigt la défense
N’en déplaise aux imbeciles de la fan base, je suis Xabi In et tout ce qu’on voit de terrible dans le jeu n’est que la conséquence de l’alignement de joueurs qui ne doivent jamais porter le maillot de Chelsea surtout en défense Ne nous trompons pas de combat !!
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Et c’est logique
❗️JUST IN: It is understood Estevao's limited role under Alonso is not the result of a fall-out, and purely down to tactical and technical decisions. [@kierangill_DM]
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Ismonkey retweeted
I really really really REALLY do not want to dislike Xabi Alonso this early.
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Ismonkey retweeted
🎮 Insolite : le dernier épisode de South Park dévoile une séquence de gameplay de GTA 6 dans laquelle Jason ramasse une crotte de chien sur une plage avant de la lancer sur un PNJ (personnage non-joueur).
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这个视频笑死。哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。
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Ismonkey retweeted
Grand Theft Auto VI | Edge Magazine new details: ▫️ Map is roughly the size of GTA 4, GTA 5, & RDR 2 combined ▫️ RDR2 had a 'profound influence' on the narrative ▫️ Much more interior areas than previous GTA titles ▫️ The game features fully functional bus and train systems ▫️ Coffee buffs your stamina, protein shakes buff health ▫️ The density is even more impressive than the size ▫️ Rockstar head of development says there are still new areas he hasn't seen before, even after years ▫️ The amount of detail Rockstar has put in is insane - there's a new system where characters can dynamically react to varying degrees of disgust based on the current area they're in ▫️ Rockstar created an entire studio just to focus on NPCs ▫️ Each NPC is assigned personality traits including temperament, aggression, where they are, what they have seen, and the player's behavior towards them ▫️ NPCs in each district behave differently - no more generic GTA NPCs that immediately run ▫️ Rockstar began building a new type of open world with RDR2 - one with richer interactive systems, NPC behaviors, and player interaction - that plan began building GTA VI since at least 2015 ▫️ Bonnie and Clyde dynamic was decided on after Red Dead Redemption 2 was complete ▫️ For several years, the two projects overlapped ▫️ Streets and highways have been narrowed to feel more believable ▫️ The day and night cycle has been expanded ▫️ In GTA 6, walking around holding a shotgun can be enough to disturb the peace. In previous GTAs, they wouldn't react until you pointed the gun at them. ▫️ Pedestrains even notice how you're carrying it - if it's slung over your shoulder they might not react as much, versus carrying it in your hands. Some pedestrians may even try to challenge you. ▫️ You can drop the weapon, and the game allows a certain degree of latitude before crossing into the Wanted Level ▫️ Your Criminal Profile is scaled from 'Professional' to 'Irredeemable' represented by angel and devil icons ▫️ You can choose to incapacitate an enemy rather than kill them, or attempt threats and intimidation before resorting to violence ▫️ Your Criminal Profile will even affect how Jason and Lucia's story unfolds ▫️ Similar to GTA Vl, you can switch characters at any time ▫️ Unlike GTA V where each character was an opportunist, Jason and Lucia are 'bound together by an emotional history' ▫️ Their closeness is measured on a four-point scale, which increases the more you spend time together ▫️ While you can choose their closeness and what kind of criminal you are, the story is built around being partners in crime ▫️ "Quitting crime is, however, a fundamental theme of the storyline" ▫️ The game asks whether your criminal life is worth it ▫️ Being a criminal feels more precarious in GTA VI ▫️ The heat system tracks your location, clothing, and accomplices ▫️ Stealing cars will be more challenging - some drivers will be armed and ready to fight back ▫️ Certain vehicles will be marked with trackers too ▫️ "A pedestrian you are robbing for his wallet might attack you [...] a holdup in a gas station might go south when a shopper decides to play the hero [...] later, during another escape [...] a group of youths in a customized 4x4 challenge you to a street race." ▫️ GTA VI will be a game where you can really make whatever you want of it ▫️ There were dedicated teams for brands and billboards, radio advertising, television shows, pedestrians, political races, and more Releasing November 19th, 2026 Much more here: gamesradar.com/edge/gtavi-co…
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C’etait sur ce fdp d’emegha allais rater
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Ismonkey retweeted
c’est le plus grand rebeu de l’histoire d’internet
Mohamed Henni qui disait les termes sur le Ballon d’Or d’Harry Kane en 2017 ptdrrrrrr ce mec est beaucoup trop fort
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Ptdrrrr mais en Aout moi j’était « negatif »
Encore un énième coach de merde à Chelsea, vivement le Fabregas Ball j’ai hâte.
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Ceux qui regardent pas Chelsea Liverpool restez là où vs êtes et continuez ce que vs faites
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🚨 Viktor Gyokeres a pris la défense de Kylian Mbappé hier en conférence de presse : « Mao Zedong? Je ne préfère pas en parler. Kylian pense ce qu'il veut. Oui c'est un dictateur. Kai Havertz pense la même chose que moi. » [@arsenaI]
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Ismonkey retweeted
La photo du siècle
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On dirais Hotline Miami
JUSTICE GESAFFELSTEIN PUSHER [FROM GTAVI: ORIGINAL SCORE] TONIGHT 🚨
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Ismonkey retweeted
Rewatching the E3 Cyberpunk 2077 trailer and yeah this Keanu Reeves reveal will never not be the coolest thing in the entire world.
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Ismonkey retweeted
je vais m’évanouir de rire sa grand mère
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Miskine ça se voit pour une fois il a voulu répondre de façon chill pour casser son image de mec sans émotion sur les réseaux, résultat : il crée un drama géopolitique mdr
Dos grandes marcas chinas han cancelado contrato con Kylian Mbappé después de que un video llamara a Mao Zedong “dictador chino”.
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