Orangepumpkincarrot retweeted
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I'm starting a YouTube channel doing really stupid tech reviews. Here's the first video. Share if you like it. youtu.be/wN8Nngbar-Q
Nobody's ever like "Yeah dude, I'm pretty into guy bands right now." #guysarepeopletoo
Having needles placed on your body to remove pain is acupuncture, but having needles placed in somebody else to add pain is called voodoo?
SPAM is a meat. Not all meats are SPAM. Not all SPAM is meat...namaste. #haiku #romanticpoem #namaste?
The existence of the phrase "dental floss" implies that there are other types of flosses. For example, "rectal floss".
I spilled some apple cider vinegar on my pants. So I soaked them in apple cider vinegar and now the stain is gone.
I have an oscillating TV. That way everyone in the room can alternate between being entertained for a moment and then bored for a while.
I started taking Tae Kwon Do to defend myself from this one bully in my Karate class who's teasing me about taking Pilates.
Dr.Dre will release a new stethoscope so that non-rapping doctors can finally listen to the sounds of your poor health with muddy bass.
I got a bootleg mirror from China which works and all, but the only thing it doesn't reflect back is self-esteem.
If you want to try to kill yourself in a Prius, run a hose from your tailpipe to your window. You'll successfully almost die in two weeks.
I have installed a recycling bin inside my mailbox. I will then use the money I made from recycling to glue my mailbox shut forever.